Film Review: Cockneys Vs Zombies

About Cockneys vs Zombies (2012) As contractors to an East London building site unlock a 350-year old vault full of seriously hungry zombies, the East End has suddenly gone to hell and the cockney way of life is under threat. Equipped with all the guns and ammo they can carry, a group of bank robbers led by Katy (Michelle Ryan) are London’s only hope of saving East London from a zombie Armageddon.

Starring: Michelle Ryan, Georgia King, Harry Treadaway

Directed by: Matthias Hoene

Runtime: 88 minutes

Studio: Studiocanal

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Review: Cockneys vs Zombies

The East End of London is overrun with zombies in this horror comedy. Builders uncover a 17th century grave condemned by Charles II and are bitten by skeletons which turn them into zombies. Soon the epidemic is spreading fast and those still alive have to find a way to fend off the threat. Our primary focus is Terry (Rasmus Hardiker) and Andy (Harry Treadaway) who are in the midst of planning a bank robbery to raise funds to spare a retirement home from closure. Their main concern is for their grandfather (Alan Ford) who is outspoken, resourceful and proud of his country. The brothers recruit their cousin, Katy (Michelle Ryan), Mental Mickey (Ashley Thomas) and Davey Tuppence (Jack Doolan) to help them pull off the robbery not realising zombies are on the loose.

The robbery goes pretty badly and the gang are left surrounded by police and have two hostages – Emma (Georgia King) and Clive (Tony Gardner). They are then surprised to find zombies have killed the police outside and they can now escape. The gang intend to head for the retirement home to rescue their grandfather and his friends. This is no easy matter though and they are delayed reaching their destination. They needn’t worry though because their grandfather rallies the pensioners and arms them for a battle of their own. The question is who will survive and will they make it out of London?

Echoes of Shaun of the Dead are without question here. Matching such a classic British film was never going to be easy and although Cockneys vs Zombies falls somewhat short it still has some good moments. The best bits have to be with the people at the retirement home fighting the zombies. You can’t help but laugh when one pensioner played by the late Richard Briers is using his zimmer frame to escape the zombie horde with both moving at the same frighteningly slow speed. The scenes with the bank robbers are good too but given that they’re all armed you don’t worry about them as much as the older folks. There are some good laughs, plenty of gore and carnage but somehow the film just doesn’t quite reach the heights of say Zombieland. 

Cockneys vs Zombies is another welcome attempt at the zombie genre from my fellow countrymen. Although it is a pale imitation of Shaun of the Dead, there are still some amusing moments on offer here and surely a valuable lesson to respect your elders and not to annoy them as the zombies come to find out. Zombie fans should find a lot to like here. For other film fans, there are better zombie flicks out there.

Verdict: 3/5

(Film source: reviewer’s own copy)

About the Author:

I was born in Barnsley, South Yorkshire, England and have always been a bookworm and enjoyed creative writing at school. In 1999 I created the Elencheran Chronicles and have been writing ever since. My first novel, Fezariu's Epiphany, was published in May 2011. When not writing I'm a lover of films, games, books and blogging. I now live in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, with my wife, Donna, and our six cats - Kain, Razz, Buggles, Charlie, Bilbo and Frodo.

David M. Brown – who has written 786 posts on Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dave.

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