I am so pissed off and in the throes of a pity party. Just last week I was telling you how swimmingly training was going. My body was adapting to every thing I was throwing at it. Nothing hurt. I basically felt great and excited for my June 2nd 50k.
On Friday I had a 3 mile run on the schedule as a shake out before a huge weekend of running big miles in the mountains. I was literally a 1/4 mile from my home, cruising along on a gorgeous spring day listening to Highway to Hell (appropriate I guess) and minding my own business. Then, IT happened. I don't even know what IT is exactly, but next thing I knew I was falling and falling hard. I tried to catch myself with my left leg to stop me, all the while ripping my hamstring then skidding to a halt on the road as I took on some nasty road rash on my palms, elbow and right leg.
It hurt so bad.
I got myself to the side of the road, gasping for air, not know what the hell I had just done to my body. A nice lady in a minivan (I don't know why it matters it was a minivan. she was probably a mom) stopped to ask if I needed help. Truth is, I really did, but I was so shaken up that I just needed a minute to be alone so I waved her off. For the longest time I sat there, afraid to even try to walk. I had my phone with me, so I could have called someone, but thought I could make it the short ways home on my own two feet. MARTYR.
Walking was a disaster of hobbling, crying and wincing in pain. I don't know what I was more upset about - the pain or the thought of what I had done and what that would mean.
I thought if I got home an quickly iced my leg, took an NSAID and rested I'd be fine. No go. The pain was awful and I knew I needed a doctor. So, Ken came home and took me in. An hour and an ultra sound later, it was confirmed there was a tear in my hamstring. Not the worst possible tear, but a tear nonetheless. I was sent home to lay on the couch iwth ice and compression for the weekend. The doctor told me the injury would "declare itself" (<dramatic doctor speak) within 48 hours, meaning we really wouldn't know what we were dealing with until Monday.
A very small sample of the damage
This made for a long weekend of FOMO, reading (I've been devouring a great book called Born Survivors, not uplifting but really good), watching The Crown, Lifetime and the movie Girls Trip, eating, drinking wine and sleeping. Oh and Cheetos.
Today I woke up worse with a swollen thigh and a big bruise on the inside of my leg where the tear is. Another ultrasound confirmed that the tear was a bit worse than originally thought. I'm still in a fair amount of pain with walking and sitting. Humbling to say the least.
The doc gave me an option of PRP (platelet rich plasma injection) but it's not covered by insurance and is $550. Yeah, no. I'm not some elite athlete. I just need to recover like a commoner. Doc said they cannot do a steroid injection on an acute injury or it can cause further damage and compromise the muscle.
So, my race is less than three weeks away. It's likely I won't be participating, but I will if I can. Hamstrings can be stubborn to repair and heal. Once I can walk and do stairs without pain, I can get on the bike. In the meantime...UGH!!
I've been here before. But, my past running injuries were all overuse and I could feel them coming on. I haven't been injured in years!! This was like running into a brick wall with no notice or mental preparation.
I know there are worse things in life and I'm working on getting perspective. Right now I'm just sad and mad and humbled. But, I do know life goes on.
I don't know why I think it would be better somehow if I had fallen over a root or trip on a rock going down a mountain. Somehow the stupidity of biting it right by my house on a smooth road makes me feel even worse. It could have been easily avoided.
While I say I don't know what happened, that's not entirely true. Right before running on Friday I had watched a video that did a gait analysis of Shalane Flannigan's stride/form. Believe me I was not trying to run like Shalane. I know better than that. But I was trying to incorporate one tip, which was to look further ahead while running to keep good posture. I think I took that to an extreme and it threw me off especially since I was doing this on a downhill.
Lesson learned.
Here's what injuries give us (can you tell I'm looking for a silver lining?) - they help us to slow down. They make us evaluate what we are beyond runners. They give us the perspective to know there will always be another race.
And, they piss us off and make us bitchy, but oh well.
Last injury you had or currently have?
Number one tip for making it through? For me I do what I CAN do. Once I can bike/swim I'll do that. I also try to take advantage of the extra time I have when not running to be productive and gain insight. And I drink wine and talk to friends who can commiserate.
SUAR
