Fogh Rasmussen
by Sasha / Earth First! Newswire
So it’s time to come clean.
Western diplomats are seriously insisting that Ruskie agents are driving Western dependency on Russian gas through anti-fracking campaigns.
According to Secretary General of NATO Anders “Fogh of War” Rasmussen (h/t Pepe Escobar), “I have met allies who can report that Russia, as part of their sophisticated information and disinformation operations, engaged actively with so-called non-governmental organizations—environmental organizations working against shale gas—to maintain European dependence on imported Russian gas.”
The cat’s out of the bag, but Rising Tide among others are trying to put the cat back in the bag and throw it in the river of time.
According to Rising Tide’s Tony Cottee, Rasmussen’s comments show “how ludicrously out of touch these people are. He clearly doesn’t know the type of person that has been turning up to demonstrate. There are 60 groups in Frackfree Somerset for example, and this includes the Women’s Institute, church groups—we’ve even got a knitting circle. These protests are involving everyone.”
After going through the Arctic 30 crisis, Greenpeace had some choice words as well, “The idea we’re puppets of Putin is so preposterous that you have to wonder what they’re smoking over at NATO HQ. Mr. Rasmussen should spend less time dreaming up conspiracy theories and more time on the facts.”
Sadly, our friends at Greenpeace are simply lost in the clouds. Our Rising Tide allies are out of the loop.
You heard it here first. I am an agent of Putin. It began when a time machine was developed by the late Russian inventor Boris Z. After agents of the Tzarist Bolshevik Lizard people crypto-anarcho-fascists executed Rasputin for publicly proposing a program of free love and publicly funded yoga, we were sent through time to join forces with Putin’s secret Can-Can dispatch of the Dyagilev KGB division posted in the Houston, TX, district of Montrose.
I, along with the Boney M and a number of select agents, visited Putin’s liquid castle made of magnetically-charged hydrocarbons several times from the years 1998-2010, and I was baptized there by Uri Gagarin, who is also a time traveler.
That is where I first met Anders Fogh Rasmussen. His first words to me I can recall as if yesterday: “Our obscure ancestor taught that the naturing of nature is Lightning Storm Mind.”
“The battle is reaching its conclusion, our day is a cloudy day for civilization,” he told me once. “We must not choose playing knuckle bones over making laws. The well paved citizen knows the price of dead meat. The real presence of the empire of absence is the true truth of sacred combat.”
The fact that Rasmussen has finally come forward about our plot, while disassociating himself from it, suggests that we are indeed in perilous times. I hope that we can move forward productively with our comrade Gene Ray’s word’s in mind, lest we become “very unlikely to ever recover to acknowledge Nature’s Harmonic Simultaneous Rotating 4 Corner 24 Hr. Days in 1 Earth Rotation.”
Sasha’s confession was extracted after several days of forced-marathon-watching Orange is the New Black.
