Doctor

I know I say it every Monday morningBut the weeks are just whizzing byA bit too fast for my liking But as they sayTime waits for no manOr something to that effectYesterday was Mothering Sunday We got my mom a candle and a mugAs well as a little creamer and sugar bowlWe had dinner in the house Then watched a movieI hate Sunday's But as they goIt was a nice one Then up this morning for my appointment at nineMy sister was with meAs she had an appointment too with Nice Woman DoctorI went to check in The receptionist told me that my usual doctor wasn't there So they put me on Nice Woman Doctors listI was disappointed that he wasn't there this morning As I wanted to know what he thought of the piece of writing I gave himBut That will have to wait until next week 
Nice Woman Doctor called me in pretty much straight awayI followed her to her roomAnd took a seatThe first thing she said to me was that the strain has gone from my face That I look more relaxedAnd asked me how I was doing I explained that things had improved since the last time I saw her a few weeks agoI filled her in about the horses The job I will start in May And going back to meetings She asked me how my food was goingI told her it was a lot better And haven't purged in a few daysToday is actually day 5I miscounted yesterday The doctor filled out my scriptAnd I went on my way My sister also had an appointment with her this morningStraight after me So I headed up to the pharmacy The usual pharmacist is back from maternity leaveI welcomed her back And tried to make conversationBut she was so coldAnswering in me word answers Anyway I got my meds And went back to my car to wait for my sister 
In other news My scale tell me that I have put on ten pounds since last weekI asked members of my family to stand on it to see if they were getting incorrect readings For each of them It gAve a misreadingMy clothes also don't feel any tighter And I don't think I look any differentSo I'm thinking my scale is wrongI mean Is it even possible to put on ten pounds in a week?I'm not so sure But To be honest I don't mind gaining a little weightI have a few pounds to play around with And anyway I would rather weigh a little more and feel good RAther than be underweight and miserable I don't even like the skinny, too thin look anymore I used toI used to like stick arms and legs A huge head on a tiny bodyBig hollow eyes Sunken cheekbones Sharp collar bones and hip bones Looking like death warmed up I now prefer the curvy lookA bit of shape With soft curves and a healthy glowI like when I gave a bit of weight on My boobs Are biggerMy thighs have shapeAnd my bum fills my jeans There is nothing wrong in looking like a woman A healthy and happy womanBeing severely underweightIs wearing your pain on your bodyOften times we can't find words to express how we feel So we use our bodies to do itNo one who is living in an emaciated body is happy I guaruntee you thatBut I do wish that my weight would settle It's pretty traumatic how my weight fluctuates so much If it stayed in or around a healthy weightThen at least I could get used to my body The way it yo-yos up and down doesn't give me a chance to get used to my body at a particular weightMy goal weight in treatment was 54kgWhich just about puts me in the healthy range I'm a bit off that yetTo be honest I would be perfectly happy with that weightAnd I think it's when I look my best My weight has gone up to 60-62kg in recent times And I'm not as comfortable at that weightAnd I don't think it suits meBut in reality Weight does not matter The number does not matter As long as I'm not drastically under or over weight Then I am doing ok I am ok 
Also I am loving my new piercing And the reaction it is getting I feel like I've been bitten by the bug now And can't wIt to get another one done Where?I'm not quite sure yet Maybe a few in my ear Or my belly button I do feel like I am living my twenties at the moment When I was on my twenties I was otherwise engaged What with a raging opiate addictionAnd a life threatening EDSo effectively I missed my twenties And am now doing all the things I never did but wanted to doIt's fun It's exciting And I'm really enjoying it 
So that it from me today Happy Monday everyoneAnd see you on the next post....