Discharged....

You know the way a girl might have a fat dayWell I am having a fat weekEvery time I look in the mirror I see my moon like face Big boobs A tummy And I generally feel the size of a baby elephant It's not fun And it has made me very curious as to what my weight is I contemplated buying a scales today But what would that do?Other than wreck my head I mean my clothes still fit They don't feel any tighter But still I feel huge And I hate feeling this wayI could go on a diet But we all know how quickly a diet can turn in to a spectacular relapse Been there Done that Bought the extra small t-shirt
I saw Mary this morning We had a nice chat I hadn't seen her in a few weeks So I filled her in about all that has happened She asked me about purging I was honest I told her that the days I am working I don't purge at allBut on my days off I find it much tougher And more often than not will purge after my meals Eating in work is great As I sit down with the others at the table And I don't even think about purging as I am so busySo I guess I need to implement the same tools at home Mary then told me that she is going to formally discharge me That we have come to the end of therapy I thanked her for all her help and support over the last few years She said that she loves her job Because she gets to see people go from the depths of despair To the high of getting wellMary has been instrumental in my recovery She is now a big part of my story When I was leaving She gave me a big hug And told me to ring her if I ever need to And with that I wAlked out of the therapy office And in to the rest of my life 
In other news I was very bold yesterday And overtook my meds I haven't done this in a long time I'm not even sure why I did it But now I deeply regret it As I worried my family And I just know I shouldn't do that But lookI will take the learning out of it And move on I could spend the whole day beating myself up But what would that do?Nothing I suspect It was a mistake You live and learn 
I'm working the whole weekend starting tomorrow It's going to be a long few days And I'm going to be on my own at home for a few days By its all worth it when I get a pay check at the end of the week
Ok I'm off for a cuppa See you in the next post....