Politics Magazine

Designated Shitting Streets, Coming to America Soon!

Posted on the 16 June 2018 by Calvinthedog
Designated Shitting Streets, Coming to America Soon!

Bobby Jindal, Nikki Haley and Abhay Patel (who the Hell is that?), street shitters all!

All of you fans of Indian designated shitting streets pining for the same here in the US won’t be crying in your coffee long. A few supporters of Designated Shitting Streets have already made their way into US politics. Of course they are all Republicans. What do you expect? Indians want all of their poor to drop dead tomorrow and Republicans want all of our poor to drop dead yesterday. A difference? Semantic quibbling!

Well, I am here to bear news of good hope for all of you who have been waiting anxiously all this time for the arrival of Designated Shitting Streets on our benighted shores. With the arrival of casteist reactionary Indian feudalists like Haley and Jindal into the American Dark Enlightenment/neoreactioinary scene, Designated Shitting Street will not be far behind.

Now you will no longer have to spend thousands on an overpriced plane ticket to some shithole to witness the glory and timeless beauty and ancient rhythm of Designated Shitting Streets (now all marked as National Landmarks by the Indian government), you will not even leave your own country to partake of the age-old glory of squatting humans on a hot pavement in the blazing sun.

They’re coming to America! Yes. Your dreams have come true and your prayers have been heard. Sooner than you think, there will be a Designated Shitting Street within a few hours drive of your own home! As the world’s greatest tourist artifacts, arcana, rituals and celebrations make the way to our very homes, the greatest glories of the ancient world, such as the world renowned Designated Shitting Streets themselves, will be no more than a few hours Sunday drive away from your own eyes and noses.

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