Community Magazine


By Rubytuesday
I had an appointment with my lovely dentist todayAs you know I had temporary crowns put in last summer And now it's time to get the permanent onesMy dentist had a big hello for me when he saw meHe shook my hand vigorouslyAnd told me that I was looking greatHe looked at my teethAt which point he started to get very excited'This is fantastic' he exclaimed 'Your mouth looks so much better since you gave up smoking''I can't tell you how delighted I am with this, I'm going to turn you in to a fairy princess'I had to laughHe seemed so thrilled with the transformationSo he booked me in for an appointment in two weeksIt will be a marathon to get the job doneBut my dentist assures me that it will be worth it
In the car on the way homeMy Mum and I got chattingShe was saying how strong I amAnd how I have overcome so muchI felt like a complete and utter hypocriteI considered telling her the truthBut what will that doOther than worry herIf only she knew though
She brought up The Boy tooI told her that he is movingShe seemed very relievedAnd speaking of The BoyHe just texted meI didn't text backI can'tAnd I won't 
It's always hard to get back on track after a slipThe trust is now goneAnd my sister is keeping a close eye on meIt's just a rotten situation for everyone involvedAnd it's down to me to put things right It was easy to think that I wasn't really usingAfter allIt was just a cup of innocent tea right?Maybe to some peopleBut for me It has the power to send me spinning out of controlIt has the power to cause me to relapseTo break my families heartTo cause utter chaos in my lifeBecause I am an addictA greedy, hungry, don't know when to stop, dust bin junkieMy brain works on the basis of all or nothingThere is no in betweenNo happy mediumNo half measuresAnd I have to face up to this fact I can't useI can't drinkNot if I want to face any semblance of a normal life
Now it's time to pick up the piecesAnd put them back together as best as I canIt's time to take stockTo reflect on the last few weeksAnd to think about where I go from hereI lost a friend this week because of what happened And that saddens me greatly She wants nothing to do with meAnd that feels so crappyBut I understand that I have frustrated peopleAnd let people downHeck I am sick of myselfAnd the trail of destruction I leave in my wakeI need s good dose of common senseAnd a swift kick up the assAny volunteers?
No seriously I have to get back on trackI know exactly what that entailsI have been here many times beforeThe only difference this time being that I have an awful lot to lose I can't I won't let that happenIt's time to pull up my big girl pantsAnd behave like a responsible adult for once in my lifeAs the saying goes It's not about the size of the dog in the fightIt's about the size of the fight in the dogAnd this dog has a huge fight on her hands 

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