I told my family they I was taking a day offThey expressed concernThat I would overtake my medsAnd possibly ODMy sister actually used the word overdoseThey said it was not like being at homeThey it would be a huge deal if I got ill hereOr something happened with my meds There have been days when I took no meds this weekIn an effort to stay awake And keep up with my familySo today I have more meds left than I needThis morning I decided to take one days methadone as normalAnd two days tablets Not too muchBut just enough to make me slightly sleepyI know what you are thinkingI am in one of the most exciting cities in the world I shouldn't want to miss a thingBut I think it's fair enough to give myself one day off Isn't it?
Another thing about TurkeyEverybody smokes And I mean everybody Old Young Men WomenAll religions All nationalities Even children I swear I saw a group of eight or nine year old kids all with cigarettes in their handsPuffing away So I'm guessing that cigarettes are very cheap hereAnd also it just seems to be part of the cultureIt's just what peopleIt's the done thing But honestlyI haven't had a smoke craving yetLike the ones I've had here I've literally been gasping for a cigaretteEven dreaming about the damn thingsIt just looks so relaxingHaving a smoke with a tea or coffeeHaving one after a meal With a drink at night It just looks so temptingBut so farI have resisted It seems that my second year smoke free is proving more difficult than the firstI guess during the first yearI was full of motivation and gustoAnd now Well it's just becoming like hard workAnyway The cravings go as quickly as they come I just need to ride it out
As I said in previous postsThe poverty of this country is very on your faceI went out for five minutes this morningAnd was accosted no less than four times in those few minutesTwice by childrenAnd twice by girlsMy sister and I were sitting having a quick coffee They come straight up to you with their hands out Literally beggingIt's really difficultBecause part of you wants to give them something to helpBut another part of you knows that If you do give them something They will see begging as a source of income And continue to do itAs wel as using their childrenWhich is blatant exploitationI know when I was living in DublinThere were a lot of homeless people on the streetsI knew if I gave money The majority would use it on drugs no or drugs So I used to give them foodAt least then you know what you are giving Both parties win
I love being in a cityI love the hustle and bustleThe constant noiseAnd this city doesn't seem to sleep at all I live in the countrySo this is a complete change of pace for meBut I love the extremes The silence to the noise It reminds me that there is a whole world beyond my four wallsA whole host of countries and cities who are as different as they are similar It also reminds me that I am but a mere speck on the canvas they is this earthThis lifeI am not that important I'm just another personAnother body Trying to figure out this thing we call life And it reminds me that I am very luckyTo live in a county where men and women are treated equallyMost of the time A country where I can get a good education for next to nothing Where I can be free to be me Whoever that isGay StraightBisexualTrans I have the freedom to do and say what I like When I like Where I have the comfort of being part of the middle classMost of my problems are first world onesAnd ones that can be solved I know I am blessedIn so many ways
