I am leaving this morning for Logan, Utah to start the EPIC Cache-Tetons relay with 11 other old people. Admittedly, the timing is not the best as I have hardly rinsed the Ironman sweat off my weary body. But, I’ve done a relay with this group the last few years and I had a major case of FOMO. So…let’s go.
I am the 12th and final runner for the group, which means I get to cross the finish line in Jackson, Wyoming (Teton Village) at the end of the 204 miles.
My legs total only 15 miles – yet, the first one (6 miles) is labeled as “very hard” (whatever. sheesh) and takes place in somewhere called Grace, Idaho. The thing I love most about these relays is you take back roads and see places and things you never would otherwise. Hopefully that won’t include a toothless man with a shotgun.
You may ask how I feel 4 days post-Ironman. Thank you for inquiring. Let’s take a tour of the body:
Feet: Still aching. I had a massage yesterday and made her rub my feet for 30 minutes.
Legs: Flushed out and ready to go.
Crotch: Chafing - ‘nuf said (no pictures available).
Arms/Abs/Head/Neck: Normal with some chafing under arm pit.
Mouth: Cold sore on the lips. I figured I could not escape it after so many hours in the sun. If you would like Herpes, let me know and I can send a sample.
By far my favorite post-race surprise was found in my hair. I had a tangle-nest the size of a lemon near the nape of my neck. Joie spent 30 minutes trying to detangle it. We finally had to pull out the rest (maybe it is a tangle, maybe it is an endangered spider).
I used to get these when I was a kid. My mom hated it when I yanked them out. So, when I did yank them out I would throw them behind the furnace with my dirty underwear. True story! I pity the family who bought that house and replaced that furnace. Eww.
After the de-tangling session, I took a shower and found as staple in my hair. What? Ironman does strange and mysterious things to a person.
Overall I feel pretty damn good. I’ve resumed normal peeing/pooping/eating schedules. My recovery plan has involved Dateline, Lifetime movies (“Nightmare Nanny” is a good one), chardonnay and my bed. I like doing hard things then being lazy.
I’m off. See you next week!
SUAR
