My Girly Parts
The other night, Cranky and I were out to dinner. As we sat there giggling and joking around while waiting for our food, I couldn’t help but notice the older couple seated at the booth behind us. She had her back to Cranky and her man was facing her. Both of them held their heads down like they were reading something. I wasn’t that nosey to get up and see if they were reading the paper placemat, their cell phones, or newspapers but what I did notice was absolutely NO communication.
I tried not to stare too long because my attention was more focused on Cranky, but I thought to myself, are they that unhappy with one another or have they talked so much over the years that there simply was nothing else to say? Which question I was seeking the answer to left me feeling sad and lonely.
Communication is Essential
Communicating with one another is essential to the life expectancy of a relationship. When communication goes, the relationship will slowly disintegrate. Don’t Let This Happen!
Talking with one another is one thing. Actually listening to what each one has to say is another. Let’s define this:
- Listen to one another.
- Actually hear what the other is saying.
- Focus attention on the speaker with eye contact and receptive body language.
- Listen candidly.
Effective #Communication is a Two-Way Process
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Key Tips to Communicating Effectively
Communication isn’t always a happy thing. Sometimes our partners may anger us with their words. In order to communicate effectively, we must first control our anger.
- Don’t get defensive!
- Take a deep breath or two if necessary.
- Count to 10 and try your best to use active listening skills (discussed above).
- Ask you partner tell you more about the problem and how he/she feels about it.
- Try to clarify what your partner is saying in order to gain a better understanding.
- Keep your tone as calm as possible.
- Avoid prosecution words. (You, You Must, You’d Better, You Should)
By using these simple tips to communicate effectively with your partner, you may be saving your relationship.
If Communication is Gone, Is There Hope?
I am an optimist in which I believe that most things that have turned sour may be able to be ripened once more, but it’s going to take work and a lot of it!
Your first step would be to address the communication or lack thereof issue with your partner.
But if we’re not communicating, how can we get to the first step?
Start with a simple “I’d like to discuss something with you.”
Hopefully, your partner will be receptive to that idea. If not, don’t get frustrated. Wait a few days and try again using different words, but be sure to use a calm tone. We don’t need our partner getting defensive from the get go.
What Do You Think?
- Is Communication essential in relationships?
- If Communication has already passed, can it be rekindled?
I would love to hear your thoughts.
