Come Together

As you may know My parents are separated Almost 15 years nowI had just turned 19And was in the throes of heroin addictionIt was a truly awful time in my lifeMy dad was drinkingAnd was off his head completely My sister just had a baby And was also drinking to excessIt was chaosLooking backI don't quite know how we all got through it
The day my parents broke up was horribleIt had been coming for a long timeBut in the end It happened very suddenlyI remember we were at homeMy mom my dad and my boyfriendA huge row broke outI can't remember why But my mom and I ended up leaving We had no where to goSo we checked in to a hotelI remember I was starting a new jobIn a bank in DublinI had to get up to catch the 6 10am train every morningIt was like a nightmare
The next few years were toughMy mom and I rented a house in a not very nice areaThen it all came out about my drug useAnd the shit really hit the fanMy family really had it hard back thenAddiction damn near ripped us apart
Then in 2004I went in to treatment for the first timeAnd that Christmas My mom moved here It was a chance for a fresh start A clean slate Although the next few years were also toughWhat with my EDWe somehow got through itMy dad got soberMy sister got soberAnd things began to look up
Fast forward to this past couple of yearsAnd things have really improvedIn every wayMy family is stableWe are all on top of our various addictions and mental health issuesMost of the timeMy parents can now spend time together without tearing each other's hair outLike yesterdayMy dad came down for dinnerAnd is staying for a couple of nights It's amazing that we can do that nowBe mature adultsAnd just get on for everyone's sake
I see my dad every few weeksSo he gets to see how I am doingHe always asks how my mood isAnd how my eating isHe doesn't know about my recent relapseAs I fear  it might tip him over the edgeBut we talk very openly about things mostlyYesterday we were out in the carAnd he asked me about purgingAnd if I am still doing thatI can't lieI am It's still a problemAnd even though it's a lot better than it wasThere is still work to do
I guess I fall in to the trap of thinking I am doing okBecause things have improved a lotI forget that by any normal standardsI am still eating disorderedAnd purging more than once or twice a dayNo matter what I tell myselfPurging is not normal And it's detrimental to my health
I'm doing the best I can for nowAnd I'll try and tackle things bit by bitBut at the moment. I am just grateful that my family is in a good placeAs my mother often says Considering what we have been throughWe are not doing to badlyNot too bad at all