Athletics Magazine

Coffee Date (With a Side of Alcohol)

By Brisdon @shutuprun
If we were having coffee there would be many things I would want to share with you. Probably the most fascinating things you've ever heard. First of all, the new season of STDs in Paradise (aka Bachelor in Paradise) has begun so that's breaking news for sure. If you've never watched show you are: 1) better than me, and 2) not missing out on anything.
Moving on. If we were having coffee (I'd prefer mine with a splash of Bailey's) I'd tell you how post injury running is going. It's going to hell. My trail runs feel the best with the variety of terrain and ascending/descending, but the flats on the road/path suck. My left leg still doesn't want to join the party, i.e., it's weak and temperamental, but I press on. I still have not brought myself to run on that very short stretch of road that I fell on. Maybe it's PTSD, maybe I'm a pussy or maybe I'm just superstitious, but that little part of the road by my house is off limits right now. It's a dangerous black hole of misery and destruction.

Coffee Date (With a Side of Alcohol)

From Saturday's trail run. Perhaps I shouldn't do this if I don't want to tear another hamstring.


If we were onto our second cup of coffee (+ ounce of Kahlua), I'd tell you another great fear I now have are chocolate chip cookies. This may sound innocent enough, but while eating one on Sunday, this happened.

Coffee Date (With a Side of Alcohol)

#missingtooth + #ropeyneck = sexy


Granted the cookie was hard and frozen, my crown snapped off (tooth and all) and plummeted to the floor. Heidi swooped into eat what she thought was part of a cookie and I had flashes of me going through her fecal matter for the next two days to fish out my crown (then having it put back in). I freaked out and pushed her away, safely taking the crown to higher ground. I don't know why but I started crying about all of this (probably because my family could not even look at me without bursting out laughing). I just feel so accident prone. In the past year I have:
Been head butted by a dog, resulting in this (October 2017)
Coffee Date (With a Side of Alcohol)

Fell on a run severely tearing my hamstring (May 2018)

Coffee Date (With a Side of Alcohol)

That is not grape jelly


Knocked out my own tooth eating a frozen cookie (August 2018)
Coffee Date (With a Side of Alcohol)

What the hell is next? Impaling myself on some rebar? Is this what the 50s are like? Don't answer that.
Anyway, all of this is requiring a tooth extraction, implant and new crown. And it only costs $3,000!  That's 30 race entries or 15 new Garmins or 30 pairs of new running shoes or 3,000 GUs! Dentists and insurances are crooks.
If we were having coffee with a splash of Baileys (hold the coffee) I'd tell you that Emma's first day of senior year is today!!

Coffee Date (With a Side of Alcohol)

New Vans - check. Hydroflask - check. Holey jeans - check. Must be a teenage girl.


And, Sam leaves for a semester in Chiang Mai, Thailand on Tuesday. Holy fuck. I guess that means I need to get a life. My kids are moving on and so should I. In fact, Sam will spend his 21st birthday in Bangkok (cue all the cock and prostitute jokes as well as the humming of "One Night in Bangkok". I've come up with several renditions of that song that I sing to Sam regularly. Mostly the songs involve him not getting incarcerated, not impregnating a Thai girl and not going for any "happy endings.")
If we were finishing up our whiskey concoction (did I tell you we had moved onto Irish coffees?) I would tell you that I am doing a 10k on Labor Day and I'm positive it will be the slowest 10k of my life. I am also thinking of a doing a half marathon trail race in Crested Butte, CO in September. Sure, I'm not really in race shape, but the trails feel good to me and I need something to perk me up besides singing "One Night in Bangkok."
One more thing before I drain the last bit of this cup 'o joe. So, I love the blog Pinch of Yum. She's real, her recipes are good. I got curious last week when she posted a recipe for vegan queso. Queso, by definition is hot cheese dip. This recipe involved putting cashews, water, green chilis and taco seasoning into a food processor 'til smooth. Then it would apparently and magically be queso. I had to try it because it sounded so weird. And, weird it was. I would not call this queso. I would call it ground up cashews with green chilis and taco seasoning (dog poop). Don't be fooled.
Well, that's all I got.
Tell me something you'd share if we were having coffee/alcohol together?

Ever been to Thailand (Chiang Mai)? Where should we stay/see if we go?

Do you have a fall race planned?



SUAR


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