Caught!

I did something incredibly foolish and stupid todayIt was a morning like any other I got up Had a cup of teaAnd headed out with LeaAs Honey didn't want to come I did some food shopping Had to pick up a couple of things for my mumThen myself and Lea went for a walk
After thatI decided to go for a look in one of the surf shopsI walked in and the girl behind the counter was talking with someoneI began to browse aroundAnd soon found three tops that I likedI brought them in to the changing roomAnd tried them on one by oneI liked them allBut couldn't afford to buy anyThen In a moment of complete madnessI put one of the tops on underneath my clothesAnd finished dressingI tried to remain calmAnd put the other tops back I said goodbye to the girlAnd left the shop
I don't know why I did itIt was such a stupid stupid, utterly idiotic thing to do
I was walking down the roadWas just about to walk in to a shopWhen I heard someone behind me shoutExcuse meMy heart skipped a beatI knew who it was before even looking aroundI just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me wholeI turned around And there she was The girl from the shop
'I'm missing a top, do you have it?'
I couldn't deny it And nodded my head 
'Take it off ' she demanded
I asked her if I could go to a bathroom to changeShe said noBy now I was mortified This was all happening in the middle of the street I asked her if I could go back to my carShe said to follow herAnd she started walking back to the shop 
'How dare you' she said
'You steal from my shop, you steal from me and I take that very personally'
I said nothing I was just so full of shame
I was so afraid that she was going to call the copsAnd nearly died when I saw a cop car coming down the street
We got back to the shopI took the top off and handed it to herShe told me to leaveI started to speak But she stopped meAnd told me that if she ever saw me in there again, she would call the cops
I left the shopAnd walked back to my carI felt like I was in a nightmare And any moment now I would wake upBut I didn't because it was really happening I had just been caught shoplifting 
I can't tell you how bad I feelAshamed Embarrassed I feel so bloody stupid for doing thisI meanI live in a small town Word will spread like wild fireHow I wish I could go back in time and undo this
I've written here before how I've struggled with shoplifting It's part of my ED and my addictionBut I hadn't done it in a long time before today And now I have well and truly fucked upWell done Ruby