Belated New Years Post

If any of you regularly venture onto blog, you'll know I'll have phases where I post lots, or when I post very little or not at all. And this New Years, I decided on a few things I would from then on do, or no longer do.
I hate it when bloggers I read, take lengthy breaks from blogging which is why I find myself thinking 'What am I doing!?' Especially as I wanted a success out of this blog! Not meaning thousands of followers or anything like that, I wanted it to be a little bit of me, something I can enjoy doing and can take time out of the real world, and enter into my world, and hopefully that there would be a few other people who'd want to enjoy it with me!
But, I've found myself lost in the world of bloggers, youtubers etc. I feel as if this blog became not so much about me, but more about what I read, and trying to be something that my blog won't ever be. I'm not gifted at applying make up, knowing what brands are good, my reviews are opinions, and when I watch bloggers and youtubers I will buy whatever they talk about instantly, I don't know if anyone else has this, or if its just me, but I do.  Even if its something I don't need or will nessesarily benefit me in anyway.
I think the reason why I kept drifting from my blog is because it's not what I want to write about, I felt more like I was doing things and writing about things just because that's what all the popular bloggers do, and maybe I just wanted to be 'popular' however cliche that sounds.
But i'm sure there are plenty of others that feel like me, they never got the approval of their peers that they wanted and felt through blogging they could gain approval from different people. Not that I don't have friends, I do. But no one that looks up to me and really gives a shit what I have to say in the way that I do to bloggers and youtubers. Their opinions to me are like facts!
The lack of responses I got from posts kind of made me feel like I was writing to nobody, spending all this time and effort to get nothing back, although I know some of my followers won't be followers at all just people that look at my blog every now and then.
I want this blog to be something I enjoy doing, not something I feel like I have to do rountinley, but when I have the spare time, and feel like it, to post a couple of things. And about things I want to write about, not things that everyone else writes about.
So, from now on, this 'lucy loves'  blog will be actually what I love wearing, doing etc. Maybe my posts won't be as regular as they were when I started, but I will probably post more regularly if it's about things I actually enjoy.