As I sat in front of my mirror perfecting my eyebrow with my concealer it struck me, the pain in the eyes can it be concealed? The pain people conceal in fabulous clothes and shoes does that make it go away? I remembered in that moment that no amount of concealer can cover up your inner most self, the person you are when no one is watching, your inner most thoughts, your cravings and your fantasies...
We all conceal things behind a great smile, a Gucci shirt or a pair of Louboutin shoes. Life as we know it can be painful, sweet, lovely and at the same time can be the death of me. I remember those days when I had no worries and all was just fun. My mind drifted for a little bit and settled on whom I am now and who I want to be in the future, it's not been that bad, I shrugged.
Have I changed so much? I questioned my self; I do this sometimes, I just check in with myself and see how things are going. Am I still the same person I used to be or am I different, did I really do any growing up or have I just been growing old all this months, years?
I never used anyone, I would not ask a person for what I couldn't give them and I would not hold back when I had to give. I always said the right thing even though it might hurt and I always said what was on my mind and never regret it while I live with the consequences... I blindly believed in some things and won't change my mind even if I was being made fun of... life was easy.
Along the line, I had to grow up, say things with a pinch of salt, I became this person who breathes sarcasm and the likes, I started to change, I saw things differently and my firm believes began to change because I realised the world wasn't just black and white, it is just a large expanse of gray areas waiting for you to set your boundaries... I decided I would never judge anyone ever again.
So, I changed a lot, lines were crossed and some lines were blurred but one thing remained, I didn't stop loving God and I didn't stop loving others, all our righteousness are like filthy rags before 'him' the good book says...
In all, I have learned a few things. Love the lord your God and love your neighbor. It's that simple.
So I started wearing make up full time a while ago and every morning I moisturise my face and put all this make up on, covering up my spots and blemishes with my blemish balm which I love so much!! It dawned on me, do we take a second look at people and see the face behind the make up, and do we reach beyond the cool clothes and shoes, the several layers of 'concealers' and lipstick; peels the covers back and know the real person, the real pain, the real joy, the real love?
Have you at anytime used a person's weakness against them or are we kind and true helping people we meet along the way? I would say don't just say anything to anyone because you don't know where they are coming from, who they are and what they are going through, their pain, their fears and their truth. Do not judge the good book says, because you will be judged yourself, under that 'holier than thou' smile who knows what lies within, who knows maybe just like the former me you have worn character 'concealers' hiding who you really are while you judge others condemning them for things that you would do if you were in their shoes? Nobody knows what they would do if put under the pressure some other people face...
To be continued.....
