I guess this friend is the closest thing I have to a best friend I've known her for a few years nowShe also has addiction and ED issuesBut she is very strong in her recoveryAnd she has always been there for me over the yearsI spoke to her on the phone yesterday for quite a whileI told her all about the situation with The BoyShe could identify with boy dramaAnd she doesn't judge me at allBut she thinks I should stay away from himShe makes a lot of sense
So by hook or by crookI will get to that meeting tomorrowI feel pumped and motivated to get back on trackI have toNot just for myselfBut for my family and my dogsAnd as for The BoyWellThat relationship has to endEveryone keeps telling me how there are other boys out thereI hope there isI guess it's hard to believe that anyone would like meWhen I don't like myself very muchBut I know the right thing to do is to stop seeing The BoyBefore anyone else gets hurt
My appetite has been suffering through all of thisBut on the bright sideI haven't been purging at allAnd by that I mean I have been purging 1-2 times a dayThat's about as good as it gets for me right now
My relationship with my weight and body image is very changable Some days I look in the mirrorAnd I can just about tolerate what I seeSome days I cryAnd try on every item of clothing in my wardrobeAnd lose the will to live with every changeSometimes I look at myself and think that I look like something approaching ok and presentableI would love to like my body more even just a little bitBut more often than not it is the enemy It is one to be feared
My and I went on a little road trip todayI bought two topsAnd some gifts for my mumHere they are........
