I know I do things that people don’t understand. In an effort to be myself, I don’t hold a lot back in public, but that sometimes makes for awkward situations. It’s not like I have no filter – I do, in fact, monitor what I say - somewhat. But, there are times when things escape my mouth and as they are spilling out I am a bit astounded at myself.
Case in point. Last weekend Joie and I were having a post-race dinner at some hot spot in little Pagosa Springs, Colorado, called Kits. This place had amazing fish tacos – tender pieces of fish in soft corn tortillas, covered in grated cheese and huge slices of avocado. We were listening to some mellow acoustic music, drinking wine and reminiscing about our day on the trails.
That’s when they showed up. A man holding a baby. But, not just any old baby. A 5 month old, chubby baby boy with bright white hair and rosy cheeks. A baby dressed only in a diaper, so that you could see all of the sweet fat folds and creases. An angel baby.
I could feel my dried up eggs sitting in my old ovaries. If I had any milk left in these ducts, it would have let down and started spraying onto my fish tacos. If you are a mama who has ever nursed a baby, you know what I am taking about. It doesn’t take much to spout a leak.
I knew I would be producing no more babies of this kind. Yet, my maternal instincts kicked in, as did Joie’s. At that moment, we craved baby. Just then, that little baby’s big blue eyes locked into mine. His tiny lips curved up into a slight smile. His dad leaned over and told me the baby’s name was “Tev.”
That’s when I popped the question. I just had to ask.
Me: “Umm…well…do you think I could just smell your baby for a minute?”
I swear this dad did not even miss a beat.
He must be one of those ultra sensitive dads who just “gets it.”
Dad: (leaning Tev’s chubby naked body towards my nose): Sure!
Me: (breathing deeply through my nose): Okay, that’s so good. Thank you.
Joie, who was across the table, was trying to live vicariously. “What did he smell like? Was it really good?”
Yes, it was really really good. It’s hard to explain that baby smell, but I would buy a Yankee candle in baby scent if I could.
Weird? Maybe. Sue me. I’m a baby smeller and I like fat babies. I had a couple of them myself.
Emma at…maybe 4 months?
The thing is, sometimes I think it’s good to say right what’s on your head. It makes you real. It makes you authentic. Maybe sometimes it makes you weird, but that’s a chance I’m willing to take.
Happy Friday! I’m off to hug (but maybe not smell) my big 11 & 14 year old babies.
SUAR
