Before I get started, I’m trying something new – at the bottom of each post I’ll give you the option to listen to this blog as a podcast. Let me know if you’re excited about this.
Reader Angela sent me a great picture today of a fat man running in a race and someone had commented “at least he’s trying.” I can’t count the number of times that I’ve heard this – when someone fat eats a salad, or goes to the gym, or walks around the block. The sentence is actually truncated – what the person is really saying is “at least they’re trying to lose weight.”
This is deeply problematic. First the words “at least”. Since we’re fat, whatever thing we’re doing that they’ve interpreted as a weight loss attempt is clearly the least we can do to get that body that matches the cultural stereotype of beauty. It’s pejorative in a less than subtle way, and also suggests that we have some obligation to try to change our bodies.
Now, let’s talk about “trying.” Of course since we’re fat we’re just trying – we’re not allowed to “succeed” until we’re thin. We’re not succeeding at running a marathon, we’re failing at being thin. We’re not succeeding at eating a salad, we’re failing at being thin. We’re not succeeding at curing cancer, we’re failing at being thin. This is reinforced by “But, But, But Syndrome.” But at least, you know, we’re trying. As if the only thing any fat person should ever focus on is losing weight. People want us to believe that there is no such thing as a fat person who is a success.
That’s just not true.
It’s ok for fat people not to care at all about being thin. We can eat salads because we like salad and it’s none of anyone’s business. We can eat a burger and fries because we like burgers and fries and that’s also none of anyone else’s business. We can succeed at running a marathon if we don’t lose a pound. We can succeed at any number of things in the bodies we have now without ever making those bodies any smaller. And we do.
So maybe the body bigots can retire this phrase, then we’d know that at least they’re trying.
Listen to the podcast of this blog.
Like the blog? Check this stuff out (purchasing these also helps support my activism work, which I really appreciate):
The Book: Fat: The Owner’s Manual The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here to order
The Dance Class DVDs: Fun classes for all levels! Click here for the details
Become a Member and Get Special Deals from Size Positive Businesses
I do size acceptance activism full time. A lot what I do, like answering over 4,000 e-mails from readers each month, giving talks to groups who can’t afford to pay, and running projects like the Georgia Billboard Campaign etc. is unpaid, so I created a membership program so that people who read the blog and feel they get value out of it and want to support the work I do can become members for ten bucks a month To make that even cooler, I’ve now added a component called “DancesWithFat Deals” which are special deals to my members from size positive merchants. Once you are a member I send out an e-mail once a month with the various deals and how to redeem them – your contact info always stays completely private.
Speaking Schedule 2013 – I am now working on my speaking schedule for next year. If you would like me to give a talk at your university, job/company, or organization just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org and we’ll talk about the options to make it work for your situation and budget.
