Athletics Magazine

Are You An Innie Or Outie?

By Brisdon @shutuprun

First World Problem Warning

If I thought buying a car was a pain in the ass, buying a tri bike is a even more pain in the assier.

Who knew there were so many measurements, choices in components, types of seats, graphics?? What happened to the days of riding my bike with the banana boat seat and tassels?

I did a lengthy tri bike measurement session a few weeks ago. Last night I found a bike I liked in Boulder (2012 Cannondale Slice – new), so today I had them fit it on me to try it out. I also tried a 2012 Specialized Transition, just for comparison purposes.

Three hours later (and much freaking poorer, although they did give me a free Vitamin Water), I walked out of the store empty handed, but with a receipt for the new Cannondale I had purchased. By tomorrow night it will have new aero bars, new tape and a few other adjustments and it will be mine and I will post many pictures – but here is the stock photo just so you can drool (only I’ll have black tape):

Are You An Innie Or Outie?

One issue that came up was the saddle. I was told I HAD to get a good saddle, not the one that came with the bike. The bike guy kept saying that this new saddle (called the COBB, like the salad) was a total necessity for my “soft tissue.”

At first I thought he meant my ass, but then I realized he was probably referring to the lady bits. I wanted to yell at him to just say “your crotch!” or “your labia majora!” (if he was a more formal anatomy kind of guy). But, I’m glad he didn’t say “pootang” or something because that would have been awkward.

Anyway, they did not have the COBB salads in stock, so I went to the webpage to price them (and of course a damn bike saddle has to be $170, really? Just so my “soft tissue” can be protected? – yeah probably worth it).

Anyway, what I realized in my research is that the founder of the COBB (John Cobb – imagine that!) has a killer sense of humor. Here is where he describes WHY the saddle is so important for us ladies:

A social conversation triggered the thought, is your navel an "Innie" or an "Outie"?  So to go to the next level for Females, are your "girl parts" an "Innie or an "Outie", there is a very obvious difference. The vagina in general and the vulva and labia particularly, make up the female parts that cause most of the concerns for the female riders. Putting direct pressure on any of these will soon lead to unhappiness and short bike rides.

For the "Outies", the vulva and the labia are much more pronounced and exposed, often showing as a physically larger area. For the "Innies", the vulva and the labia tend to be more enclosed or drawn up internally and the crotch area is smoother.

So after a lot of dancing around, there is the answer, go look at your crotch and make the call, comfort and happiness are what you stand to gain by looking and making the best choice.”

John Cobb is my kind of dude. Tells it like it is. GO LOOK AT YOUR CROTCH!!

How did I get to be 46 years old and never know that my girl parts could be an innie or an outie? At least now I know which seat to get. And, no I’m not going to tell you. But, my navel is an innie.

Ever had pain in the saddle while riding? Not really. I mean after being on there for 6 hours things get a bit tender, but nothing dramatic.

If you do triathlons, do you have a tri bike? Which one?

Are you an innie or outie? Are you brave enough to say?


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