Are You Addicted?

Yesterday was the first time in forever that I missed a day posting I did try toBut the blogger app on my phone wasn't playing ballSo it didn't happenBut anywayOn to todays topic
I was at a meeting last nightIt's my sisters home groupSo I called in to her on the wayAnd we went togetherIt was an AA meetingAnd there was quite a big crowd thereMy friend was there The guy who has an EDHe slept through the whole meetingBut who am I to judge I've often done the same myself
There was a woman doing the top table And she shared her experience of addiction and recoveryI was delighted to see a woman doing itAs more often than not it is a manAnd boy do men love to talkEspecially when they have a captive audienceI have seen men speak for a full hour when they are given the chanceSo I was glad to get a female perspective
The speaker was greatI could identify a lotShe spoke about how she has other addictions tooI could really relate to thatAfter the meeting The woman told me a bit about herselfAnd mentioned that she had a shopping addictionAnd that she had nearly gone bankrupt she was spending so much moneyThis sounded very familiarIt sounded just like me!
When I got homeI was thinking about how I think it's possible for me to get addicted to anythingI just have that type of personalityWhere if I get a good feeling off of somethingOr it numbs me Or gives me a buzzOr it takes me out of my headAnd away from myselfThen there is a good chance that I will go back for it again and againDespite the destruction it causes
So we all know I was addicted to drink and drugsAnd that I have an eating disorderVery common addictionsBut what else am I addicted to?I remember doing a post on this back a couple of years agoSo this is an update on thatAs my list has changed done
The number one offender has to be methadone I'm now ten years on a methadone programmeAnd I am well and truly addicted to itMentally PhysicallyPsychologically Every freakin' wayThe first thing I do every morning is take my methadoneMy life revolves around itI have a routine of going to the doctor and pharmacy every Monday morningAnd then collecting the methadone every few daysIt has become such a big part of my lifePart of meOf who I am It is being reduced thoughAlbeit very slowlyAnd I am putting up some resistanceIt was reduced this weekJust by 2 mlsBut it's still a big dealAny change is a big deal
Then I have my other medsTwo anti depressantsAnd anti anxiety medsI am pretty dependant on these tooAlthough they are not physically addictiveTo me they are addictiveI would really miss them if I did not have them
One huge thing that has changed on my addiction list is cigarettes I was a confirmed and passionate smoker for almost twenty yearsI loved smoking The first one of the morning was always my favouriteI was quite a heavy smokerThirty a day Which was costing me €100 a weekSo last AugustWhile I was away in LondonOn the morning of the 11thAt about 10 30amI smoked my last oneAnd haven't had one since It's now been eight months And I haven't looked backI am now officially A non smoker
But of course when I get one addiction under controlAnother one always pops upCue shopping addictionWhen I gave up smokingI found that I had some extra money at the end of the weekBut instead of saving it like a normal human beingI elected to spend itNow it seems like when I get money in to my hand I feel compelled to spend itIt's only just out of the ATMAnd I am handing it over in a shopOr spending it in lineOn line shopping has become quite the hobby for meAnd I have to admit I get a great thrill out of itTrawling the Internet for new clothesFinding something that I just have to haveClicking the 'Buy now' buttonGetting the email that tells me my order has been successfully placedThen the email to tell me that my order has been shippedOh the excitement of it all is too much!Knowing that there is a parcel on its way to meAnd then when it finally arrivesI am almost beside myself When the post man rings the door bellAnd I open the door to a big juicy packageI sign for itAnd take the package in to my armsCradling it like it is a new born babyThen tearing in to itTo find the treasures insideI take out the itemsAnd my life now feels completeNow that I have this shirt/skirt/scarfI never need to shop again My wardrobe is also completeBut of courseThat buzz wears off quite quicklySoon the item you just couldn't live without Becomes just another piece of clothesLike every other piece you ownThat's when I'm drawn back inAnd I find myself searching the Internet once more....
I their addictions which feature in my life to a greater or lesser extent are as followingsIn no particular orderTeaHot sweet teaIf I am at home Then I have a cup of tea in my handI am constantly boiling the kettle And it drives my family nutsI just love teaIt's warm it's comforting I used to enjoy a cup of tea and a smoke Now I just enjoy the teaOver and over again
My phoneSince I got my first iPhone( yes I was a latecomer to this world)I am pretty much addicted to itI used to look at my sister Who was constantly glued to her iPhoneAnd wonder what was so interestingNow I know Now I know the wonder that is the phoneI am coverted
I tend to go through phases of being addicted to different foodsRight now it's white chocolateMore specifically MilkybarsI crave it the way I used to crave heroinHonestly The craving is that strongI have been known to drive miles out of my way to get my precious MilkybarsI remember a few years ago it used to be Drifter barsOne day before I learned to driveI had my mother drive all over the place looking for these barsNothing else would doI ate then like they were going out of fashionAnd then they didSo I had to find something else to fixate on
SweetenersAs many cups of tea I drink a dayI use three sweeteners in each cupThese don't be long adding upAnd I'm sure they are bad for meBut since when did that stop me?
TvI am a tv addictEspecially food showsLike Come dine with meMasterchefMy kitchen rulesI also love a good box set Like Breaking BadThe next one I'm going to watch is Better call SaulCan't wait to get stuck in to that one
That's all I can think of right nowI guess it's enough 
I was wondering about you Are you addicted to anything?Are you like me and have an addictive personality?I'd love to knowAre you addicted?