So I am making room….enlarging my territory.
I am moving on… making room for children because I am blessed to be able to do so.. and my full time job is now a part time job. I stepped out in faith...to parent. I have literally felt as if my borders were enlarging for the past few months. Some of this faith, and the rest is just knowing and discerning a move of God.
Matthew 9:17 “And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the old skins would burst from the pressure, spilling the wine and ruining the skins. New wine is stored in new wineskins so that both are preserved.”
I have always been one who prepares. Even when I didn’t intend to, my spirit seems to still have an acquiescent nature. I was talking to my friend today, a long time friend about being able to let go. It seems like I am challenged weekly to determine to make the conscious decision to let go., without having situations become too complicated. Its called the ability to acquiesce.
I agree, that grace should be given and situations and as Human beings we should be consider all things well, but sometimes we must consider history in order to go forward and find resolve.
I just cannot not seem to fit old wine into new wineskins. I suppose what this means is that new wine has to fit into a new skin with a certain kind of elasticity in order for it to hold its own. If it goes into old wineskins, it sours and is no good. It really isn’t preserved. Some of the things God preserves for us, requires we step out of the box and welcome the new.
Since I said yes to God, and have been extremely thankful in the process of growing and stretching for new wine, I have gained several new assignments to sustain my breath. I feel as if I have a new lease on life , and I am thankful that I am breathing again, with a new breath. It feels good. and it doesn’t feel as if it is belabored like it was in the past. I’ve’ gained social media clients, was able to sell a few photos , I have moved into territories unknown and actually, several of these blessings came the exact same week that the blessing of releasing my full time job to God came!
What if we all would trust God and believe Him and stay in expectation of Him to deliver, simply because He is faithful? What if we all just let go, and let God.
I have been waiting for such a time as this, for several years, (maybe more than 25), and I am completely thankful to the Lord Jehovah for making all things right enough for me to find myself and determine yet what is, is supposed to be.
I believe this journey coming into being mother, means that I have to become accustomed to the emotional journey involved as well. And that, it is! It’s not emotional in the sense I have been crying my eyes out, it’s emotional in the sense that its a new place, with new experiences that pull and tug at one’s ability or the mother’s ability to have intimacy with her child. I have thought I never have had, I have blessing I make for others, and prayers I pray for my children who are not even present, currently.
One may ask: How does one have intimacy with a child that isn’t even present yet? Well, I believe every child we have observed in the adoption matchbooks has a spirit. And their spirit is knit to our own, and even to my husband’s, in a very special way, even for a second. Even before the beginning of time.
So excuse, me while I make room for intimacy, and Spirit, and the influence of little small and yet significant miracles… as they leave footprints on my soul and spirit. Selah.
