Athletics Magazine

Amy’s Half Century Marathon Race Report

By Brisdon @shutuprun

Today I ran a half marathon (+ 1 mile). There were no timing chips, no volunteers, no porta potties, but there were shirts:


…and,  a make shift aid station :



…and, even swag bags!!! Good thing. I need that deodorant. BAD.


Amy turned 50 today (get it? That’s why the shirt says “Half Century Marathon.” Clever, no?). She wanted to mark this milestone by running a half marathon. She and my friend Michelle have been training for the past couple of months and asked me to join them today. I had 14 miles on my training plan, so it was a perfect match. Amy planted the goodies along the way (Swedish fish, Gatorade, jelly beans, gummy bears, water) and had the shirts made for us.

I got to the start a bit early and ran a warm up mile by myself because I knew at the end of our “race” there was no way I would feel like tacking on another mile. My total for the day = 14.1 miles. I wasn’t feeling super motivated. I think the cold and snow is getting to me. Or, I am a pussy. I just keep remembering that it doesn’t matter how I feel. I just need to DO.

Shut Up and Run!

We started out around 9 a.m. I haven't run with Amy before, so she is a virgin to my farts and my occasional need to pull off into the bushes. For some miraculous reason (or the fact that I took 3 dumps before leaving home) I had no stomach issues whatsoever on this run. I don’t think I even farted once.

Yes, the day was about Amy and the fact she was turning 50, but this day should also be marked as the first day that I ever ran without so much as one arse blast or air biscuit (for more from the fart thesaurus, go HERE). I think it is a good idea when you run with new friends to not scare them off right away. I am proud of myself.

Here are Amy (pink) and Michelle at the “aid station.” They are still feeling all chipper because this was mile 2.5. Amy is ROCKING the 50 year old thing, don’t you think?


I am not going to lie. My energy has been lagging lately – I’ve been hitting all of my speed, tempo and long runs for marathon training, but I am dirt freaking tired. This run had quite a few hills and I pretty much felt like I wanted to be done and laying in a bean bag chair with the remote and Doritos the whole time. But, the time passed quickly running with these girls. I still say the best way to get to know someone is to do a long run with them!

We finished up in about 2 hours (9:21 average), which was slightly faster than my training plan indicated (9:40). I am really trying to keep my long runs SLOW (about a minute slower than marathon pace).


The three dogs ran the whole way with us. Why is it okay for dogs  to take craps on the side of the road, but not humans? I just wish I had the VO2 Max of a dog. They kicked ass.

I like how I am standing like a ballerina. I am so graceful.


Happy 50th Amy!

Ever run a non-formal/non-timed “race” for a special occasion? I’ve done a few charity runs this way.

What’s your favorite aid station food? I was really digging the Swedish Fish and jellybeans

What’s your long run this weekend? I already did mine, but I have a 7 mile run on Sunday w/5 miles @tempo.


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