I am very sad to write this piece but it is from personal experience.
I am not sure what I thought when I was younger. Perhaps I thought that everyone would accept everyone, and that was that.
Of course, I have never bothered to get married, and it was no big deal through about age 21 or so. I knew some married couples at this time and my friends and I used to hang out with them and party with them and it was no big deal. When I got be 22, I started hearing bits of, “You’ve never been married.” It was mostly from women, and they acted like it was something horrible. Some of them liked me, and some of them I was even dating. I was puzzled at the time as to why this would be a bad thing.
When I got to age 23, some of my best friends were married couples. Really it was a woman who befriended me as I never thought the husband even liked me. The woman was always calling me up and inviting me over, and I ended up spending many to most weekends over at this couple’s house. They had a couple of little kids. We used to go to rock and roll shows all weekend when they got a sitter for the kids. Other than that, it was just drinking and smoking lots of weed.
The woman was always ranting about “sleazy” people, and at the time, my goal in life was to screw just about anything that looked good and two breasts, so all this ranting was really starting to upset me in a lot of ways as I didn’t want to become one of her hated “sleazeballs.”
At the same time, they both used to snort and rant about single people, calling the losers. One time when a woman was coming over to visit, she prefaced her arrival by informing me, “She’s a total loser. She’s 35, and she’s never been married.” My heart sunk into my gut. Wow. Was this what I was in for? Is this what the future is going to look like?
At the same time, the guy was always bugging me to get married. “So, you thinking about getting married soon?…Are you going to get married?…You’re getting married soon right?…” This was accompanied by lots of snarky remarks about single guys, mostly about how they never got any pussy. Married men were superior because they got tons of pussy all the time. All married guys were drowning in it. Basically, singlehood is for loser guys.
I really ought to point out that this guy got married at age 19 to this woman and by age 29, he already had two pain the ass little toddlers who were shitting in their diapers all the time. He hadn’t been single for very long, marrying and moving out of the home almost immediately after high school. His attitude was all guys had to move out of the house at age 18, and everyone who didn’t was a pussy, a loser, a fag or a baby. All guys also had to marry right away because singlehood is loserdom for guys.
Since then, some folks have pointed out to me that he was envious.
I wasn’t planning on getting married anytime soon, so all this talk was rather shocking. Really? Is this the way society is? You are really going against society in a massive way if you don’t marry at about age 23 or so? I’m in for a life of rejection and social ostracism? Wow, how come no one ever warned me?
This guy had a very serious need to look down on single guys and feel superior to them for whatever reason.
Then I started meeting other guys like this. They were all the same. 24-29 years old, got married at age 18-19, moved out of the house at age 18, then got married and moved away. In one case, the guy moved to a houseboat in the Netherlands where he lived with a wife and new baby. His attitude was the same as the other guy: any guy who didn’t move out at age 18 and move thousands of miles away from his parents was a baby, a loser, a pussy, or a fag. He also had an extreme hatred for single guys, once again because he thought it was a loser way to live your life. He was also fond of pointing that single guys never got any pussy and only married guys got all the pussy.
After a while, I noticed that this was the mindset of almost every young married man that I knew. If they had a kid or two, it was even worse. If they moved out at age 18, it was that much worse.
With the one guy, I would get a girlfriend now and again, and then he would get really upset and uptight like he felt very threatened. He would get his back up in the air and continue to insist that being married was better. Why? Because all married men get it every day. Yep, you heard it. Every married man on Earth gets laid every single day of his life. For reals. He said that even when single guys get a chick, they don’t get it every day. He was really threatened every time I got a girl!
At the same time, when I was around 24-26, every time I got a new girl, these same guys would start saying, “So…you’re going to marry her, right?…Nice to meet your wife, Bob…When are you going to marry her?”
On and on. It seemed so weird to me because honestly, being an asshole, I had no intention of marrying any of these women. My attitude was, “Huh? Why would you think I’m marrying her? Right now I am concentrating on fucking her six times a day. I’m not thinking about anything else.”
I got rid of some of these married friends, but then years later, I came crawling back and tried to restart the friendship, which was of course a catastrophe because once friendships fall apart, a lot of them are like Humpty Dumpty and they can never be put back together again.
It helps if the person ever liked you in the first place. I had some old friends from high school who liked me for a long time and then turned into rejecting weenies at some point. I let them back into my life with the proviso that they had to be cool at all times, and it’s worked out well.
There were a couple of other guys who were really weird, and I was never even sure if they really ever liked me at all in the first place. They had strange attitudes where they liked you part of the time and acted like dicks the other part of the time. I never really got it. If it seemed like the person never really liked you in the first place, then the friendship is irreparable as it sucked in the first place. Most friendships I restarted failed because the same stuff that was blowing about the relationships in the past kept coming back over and over in the restart. Some things just can’t be fixed.
Over time, this just got worse and worse. The older you get without marrying, people just get nastier and nastier with each passing year. I started to complain about it, but that’s pointless. That would just make people bring it up out of the blue and hit me over the head about it. I had girlfriends who would bitch about it. “You’re 26 years old and you’ve never been married! I can see why women would hate your guts over that!” she would fume. She was unmarried at age 34.
Really, if you are a single guy and you have a girlfriend who has a contemptuous attitude about your singledom (which seems weird on its face) or the fact that you have never been married, you really need to just get rid of the bitch. The reason is because human beings are basically hopeless. Once they start bitching about something, they never really stop, never really shut up about it, and never forget about it. They just resent you about that one thing forever. Why people are like this, I have no idea, but that’s my firm conclusion.
The only girlfriend worth having is one who approves of the way you live your life and the way you have lived your life. Anything else is just a bitch who will never shut up until you’re dead and you can’t hear her anymore.
I also had some friends at that time who were not married but were living with their girlfriends. For all intents and purposes, they were exactly like the young married guys. I used to hang out over there all the time, and there were some other single guys who hung out there too. It was just booze, weed and music all the time. The cohabiting guys were all contemptuous of single guys too, and they thought we were all losers. The cohabiting was superior. The other single guys and I were performed this role called The Single Guy Losers when we were over there. “Hi! We’re the guys who aren’t getting any!” It’s like that song was playing in the background. It sucked to be honest.
Anyway, after going through a number of years like this, I have come to the sad conclusion that single guys should only associate with other single guys.
If you are a single male, here is who you should hang around with:
People to Associate With
1. Other single guys! Make sure they are not bisexual though. Unfortunately, as you get older and older, a larger and larger proportion of the remaining single guys are weird, idiots, psych cases, or guys who couldn’t get a woman with God’s assistance, but still you should find some sane ones to associate with.
2. Your family! Includes extended family. All through my whole life, my family, even my extended family all the way to aunts, uncles, cousins, and nephews, have always stood by me through thick and thin. Unfortunately, I just cannot say that about my non-family friends. Why this is so I am not sure. I hate to say it but family ties seem more durable non non-family friendships.
3. Women! That means single women. Forget the married women as a general rule because you get into the married couple bad trip thing. You can even make platonic friends with women. Make all the female friends you want to or you can. There’s really no downside to it, and my experience has been that most of my female friends either start fixing me up with their friends sooner or later or else the friendship turns sexual.
Surrounding yourself with chicks is never a bad idea. The Hell with guys. Who needs them! Plus when you have women around all the time, a lot of guys will start swarming around anyway to get in on the action via you. “I’m going to hang out with this player and get me some of the by-catch!” – that’s the mindset. You need to have a strong attitude with your female friends. You can’t have this attitude of, “Hi, I a loser who can’t get any women. This is my pitiful platonic girl “friend,” which is the only thing I can get. Feel sorry for me!” A “take it or leave it” attitude vis a vis your female friends is the best way to go as with everything in life.
4. Some married women. As a single guy, I used to meet young, nice looking married women a lot. A lot made friends with me and very quickly they would try to start fixing up with all their single girlfriends.
If you meet a married or cohabiting female who is throwing a crowd of single chicks in your direction, I would make an amendment to the no married couples rule. It’s ok to hang around with her for the side benefits. Plus once you start dating her girlfriends, her opinion of you will go up by a mile. Once you break up with her girlfriends, your friendship with her and her husband is going to start getting weird and you may have to end it, but so what? You’re there for the pussy, right? You don’t care about anything else, right? Ok then.
5. Older people? I haven’t the faintest idea if this is going to work or not, but after age 40, most married guys STFU and stop bothering you. The pestering thing is all young married men, especially if they have kids.
6. Some married men. Some married men, especially older ones, have a horrible relationship with their wives and for all intents and purposes are single. A lot of these guys are great to hang around with and have lots of single friends. They’re not going to pressure you to marry because they currently feel that marriage is Hell, and they don’t want to send you there too even though misery is company.
7. Groups. Once you join an organization, a group or something along those lines, you have a group of folks who all have a common interest, often meeting on weekends for good times and relaxation and exploration of whatever their life interest or hobby is. You mostly do things as a group, and everyone tends to get along because they have to. People just see you as “part of the group,” and they don’t care about anything else that is going on in your life. Plus a lot of those groups are swarming with hot young chicks. I recommend political groups but I suppose they can be anything.
People to Avoid
1. Married couples. Good general rule, but can be broken as above. You really need to scout out the relationship and figure out what this couple really thinks about you deep down inside. If the married woman wants to fix you up with her hottie friends, then of course break the rule. A good attitude to take towards all married couples is, “Take it or leave it!” When you throw out this attitude, most people sort of shut up about you because they are afraid to pester you about anything.
2. Gay and bisexual men. This is a total disaster zone, as I mentioned in a previous post. I used to be very positive towards gays until I started meeting a lot of them! Which does not speak well towards gay men at all. As a young man, I used to think, “We can go out to clubs. I will try to pick up women and he can try to pick up guys! It will be cool!”
Yeah right. I was so naive.
After quite a few horrifying experiences with gay and bisexual men, I have concluded that these guys are a disaster zone for straight men, and for single straight men in particular. In a word, any gay or bisexual man who befriends you in any way, shape or form is generally going to try to fuck you. That’s just the way it works. If it’s possible to make friends with these guys without them trying to suck your dick, I say “Great,” but I haven’t really had much luck with that. When it comes to gay and bisexual men, it is just avoid avoid avoid avoid.
Once You Get a Girl
Once you get a regular girl, a lot of this sort of goes out the window. Now everyone likes you for some reason.
A guy with a woman by his side is loved by the whole world.
A guy with no chick is hated by all of humanity.
Sad but true.
Once you have a girl by your side, even some queers will settle down and be more agreeable and tend to leave you alone more.
Married couples will mostly turn way nicer and shut up about your being single. Thing is, once you have a girl, they stop caring whether you’re married or not for some reason. Maybe they think you are as good as married.
Now you’re a star in the eyes of all single guys too. They treat you with new respect, and they act a lot saner around you. You become an idol and a role model.
Women in general will be a lot nicer too because all women love a guy who has a chick.
Parting Words
That’s all the advice that I can give. The best attitude to take in life is, “Take it or leave it!” if not out and out, “FTW! Fuck the world!” If you’re going to be a nonconformist and go against society, you need to be utterly defiant about it. People will get scared, and they will not want to bother you about anything.
If you are living a nonconformist life and your attitude is apologetic or seeking confirmation, it’s just not going to work.
“Accept me! Like me! Tell me I’m ok! Give me approval! Don’t disapprove of me! Whatever you do, don’t reject me!”
Tragically, none of these attitudes work if you go against society. For some reason, people see that attitude, sense that you’re afraid of rejection so they do just that – reject you! Bam! Take that! They treat you like you’re a pinata just waiting to get hit. Bam! Bam!
This attitude will do nothing but cause endless rejections, small and large, cascading larger and larger with the years. With each rejection, you will get more and more hurt, and the hurts will pile on one another in great big gigantic trash heaps that never get picked up. Soon the mass force of all of the accumulated rejections over all the years will start to make you nutty, and every rejection will make you a little bit crazier. The more you get rejected, the nuttier and crazier you will get. Pretty soon you won’t even be able to function in life very well.
What’s sad about all of this is that people who reject you are generally sending some sort of message like, “Shape up and maybe I’ll like you!” but really rejecting people with that goal in mind doesn’t even work.
