Dear McDonald’s.
You suck.
And I don’t mean for the obvious reasons—like the fact you are starting home delivery in some of the state’s most-overweight suburbs, which I think is a pretty appalling decision.
No, this time you suck because every time I go against my better judgment and visit one of your stores (mostly because I’m hungover and the drive thru SEEMS easy), you short change me on the food front.
Usually you forget the sauce, so I don’t know why I keep ordering the damn thing, perhaps it’s because your fries are a bit dry so it helps to have something to dip them into and, oddly enough, I just can’t be arsed carrying a bottle of tomato sauce around in my handbag.
But a couple of weeks ago—and this happens pretty often too—I was missing a hash brown.
And I was pissed about it because I ordered two and I ate one before my Bacon & Egg McMuffin and the other, which I thought was hiding under said McMuffin was to eat afterwards—something delicious, golden and crunchy to sink my jet lagged, tired, teeth into.
And then I pulled out the McMuffin and discovered NO SECOND HASH BROWN.
What the hell?!
I realize that my arse could probably do without a second piece of deep-fried potato goodness, but after four days in Vegas, a 17 hour trip home and a night at a Gala, I wanted it.
Besides, it was a simple order; it only had four components. It’s not like I ordered 200 chicken nuggets.
Your staff effectively forgot one-quarter of my order. Again. That’s like forgetting to put the patty on a Cheeseburger.
Then, last weekend, when I gave you what feels like the 50th second chance, not only was the Frozen Coke machine was broken but you short-changed me again.
Hungry, sunburnt and disappointed at the lack of Frozen Coke, I ordered a cheeseburger meal for the drive back from the coast and—and I should have realised this was asking too much—a sweet and sour sauce.
And guess what? The sauce didn’t make it to the bag!
DAMN. YOU. TO. HELL.
I’ve been a teenager working a part-time job; I worked at Blockbuster Video and if I’d forgotten to put the actual video (yep, this was way back before there were DVDs) in the case as frequently as you forget part of my order, I’m pretty sure I’d have had my little arse fired.
Or at least been banished to spend my shifts cleaning up the back store-room that was stuffy, about the size of a shoebox, hidden behind a secret door and cluttered with videos.
So here’s a tip to all the lovely employees of McDonald’s, or any kind of fast food takeaway if someone orders something that veers from the norm, like a sauce with their Cheeseburger meal, a second hash brown or even fries as PART of their Quarter Pounder meal (yes, they’ve even forgotten my fries, actually check its all in there before you hand the bag over.
It’s fair to say I’m NOT lovin’ it because, by my calculations, McDonald’s owes me about $100 for food I’ve paid for and they’ve never given me.
