My enemy!
If I ever run a company, I’m going to make sure the kitchen is stocked with Almonds, peanuts, turkey and roast beef slices, cashews and maybe some berries. I’m going to make it a rule that employees cannot have giant bowls of candy at their desk and I’m going to outlaw the kitchen fridge from having any sodas in it.
I say all this because my biggest enemy in the battle of the bulge has been well meaning office managers and coworkers who insist on tempting me with their unhealthy wares. Seriously, it’s like there’s a competition going on at the office to see who can bring in the most unhealthy items. One day it’s banana nut bread and the next it’s chocolate from Hawaii. In the mean time, the well meaning office manager is stocking up on cereal, granola bars, bags of candy and cookies.
And oh how much I hate these people!!!
How Do I Fight This?
I’m not a weak willed person. Ask anyone who’s tried to make me change my mind on something or argued politics with me about willpower and stubbornness. I’m not easily swayed from my chosen path, unless of course you tempt me over and over and over again throughout the day. My resolve is strong in the morning, but as the hours go by and I get a bit tired, a bit stressed and very frustrated with whatever the issue of the day is, the call of the chocolates increases. I hear that unhealthy food call to me and at some point my resolve will fail.
First, A Message To You “Nice” People
I know you think bringing in baked goods is a way to win over friends, but it’s really not. Most of the people eating your cakes, muffins and banana bread are the ones who shouldn’t be. The people who don’t usually eat this stuff are still not going to eat it, or eat very little of it. It’s us, the folks trying to be healthy, who you’re going to tempt, and we’re going to hate you for it. We’re going to resent you for bringing in those muffins and for the guilty feelings we have after eating them. The same applies to those of you with candy bowls at your desks. You’re not really winning over any friends here, you’re just trying to buy our love with sugar, and it’s failing. If you want to make friends, be friendly, do your job well and help us do ours. That will win you more friends than any chocolate cake.
Second, A Message To Office Managers
Sugar does not increase productivity. In fact, sugar decreases productivity by killing our energy levels, making us irritable and destroying our health. If you want to be a good office manager then get us healthy snacks that will keep us working. Buy salads or lunch meats or nuts or a dozen other things that can make us feel full without giving us a sugar rush. And no, those granola bars don’t count. They’re just sugar with a pretty package.
Seriously, I know you’re trying to be nice but you’re not. I just wish more CEO’s would recognize this and make appropriate changes.
Finally, A Message To You, My Fellow Professional Health Freaks
Stay strong my brothers and sisters. They may tempt us and they may lure us away from our plans but it’s up to us to stay healthy.
- Keep a large bottle of water at your desk – Drinking water will help you avoid cravings and keeping a large supply at your desk will stop you from going to the kitchen.
- Don’t go to someone’s desk if they have candy – If they ask why, tell them. Don’t get fired or anything but be honest. Maybe they’ll understand that what they’re doing isn’t actually good office manners.
- Work from home when possible – Again, don’t get fired but be honest with your boss about the office not being a healthy environment. Who knows, maybe they’ll get the point and make changes.
- Counterstrike! – Bring in your own healthy snacks and keep them in mind when looking for something to much on. For me, a small amount of nuts does the trick every time.
And if all that fails, stay late one night and throw away all those unhealthy snacks from your coworker’s desk. After a few times, they’ll get the hint!
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Just kidding about that last one!
