Avoidants differ a lot, but you can’t have a relationship with someone like that either. I knew an Avoidant once for two weeks. I lived with him and some other people. Everyone in the house regarded him as a complete asshole. His APD took the form of actually avoiding people to the point of seeming mean. This is how he drove people away from him. They often literally shove people away from them and they can seem hostile or aggressive when they do this.
You are also likely to not run into Avoidants in your life because, well, they avoid other people! Even if you meet one, it will be hard for you or others to figure out that they are Avoidants. There were three other people living in the house I was staying at, and none of them believed that he was APD. They didn’t even know what APD was. The woman who lived there, a girlfriend of mine, actually liked him but realized how screwed up he was. The two men who lived there hated him and described him as an “asshole.” This is because their extreme avoidance can appear mean and sometimes they flat out are mean when they are trying to shove you away.
People with Dependent Personality Disorder are complete wimps and they are often incompetent. The best way to describe is that they are grownup babies. These are adults that never really grew up. Their wimpiness and pathetic dependency drive everyone around them nuts. They are often very nice, kind, decent people. Some DPD are very nice and have a lot of a good relationships with women, including a lot of friendships. Why grown women put up with these wimpy men, I have no idea, but a lot of people like a friendly person. I’ve never met an actual DPD person, nor have I spoken to one.
