9 To 5....

Today is a glorious dayToday is utterly marvellous Because today Today I have a day offA much needed day offI don't even have horse riding today It's now 11amAnd the whole day stretches before me With a whole lot of nothing to doI woke up this morning with a start Thinking about what I had to do todayUsually if I'm working or heading off somewhere I get up an hour early to walk the dogsI always make sure they get a walkAs they are hyper if they don't So I woke up this morning Then had the most delicious feeling When I realised that I had sweet f#*k all to do today I slept in until 8 30am people!It was utter blissAnd it's great to feel like I earned my day offI swear I am sleeping the best I ever have I can't make it past 10pm these nights I don't even read before going to bed 
I got up All the while enjoying the feeling that I had no where to be And nothing to do I had breakfast with my sister Then got dressed and headed out with Honey and Lea I try and bring them out early these days As it gets too hot during the day for them SoI piled the dogs in to the back of my car And we headed for the beach Where we had a lovely walkHoney is looking like quite a character these days Her fur is long and shaggy She has one eye And ahe needs a good washShe's like a little old lady And at the grand ol' age of eleven I guess she is After our walk I did a bit of shopping Before heading home
Yesterday I was in work in the morning To meet the other staff members They all seem lovely And again Georgina went through some policies and procedures It's great that she is so clear and direct Sometimes I need things spelled out for me Just so I am absolutely certain about what I need to do As I was standing there Side by side with my fellow workers I felt a great swell of pride I felt like now I am a working woman Part of the work force Part of a team Contributing to society And earning my keep It's been a long time since I had that feeling Like I am strong and independent Taking care of my own side of the street Earning money Maybe even treating myself to a little something When I get my first pay checkI have promised my Mum and sister that I will bring them out for dinner I can't wait to do that To give back some of the love and kindness that they show me all the time 
I am back in work tomorrow And I have 8 hour shifts every day until Tuesday So I really am being thrown in at the deep end But I guess that's the best way to learn I am super excited to start I was incredibly nervous and anxious But I just feel ready Ready to work And work hard There's nothing more I can learn With being on a live shift I've done all the theory I can It's time to put it in to practiseAs for confidence?Well I think it's a fake it till I make job
So this is it I'm starting work I can't quite believe it If you had told me a year ago that I would be starting work this summer A real proper grown up jobI would not have believed you In fact I would have laughed at you I was in such a dark place Since coming out of treatment two years ago I have been up and down and all over the place as far as my recovery was concerned But I think since Christmas I've been fairly steady and stable My weight is good My mood is also pretty good Starting horse therapy has been the catalyst I think It has literally been a life changer I've made new friends Real friends who just want the best for me I get to spend time with beautiful animals I get to learn a new skill I couldn't ask for more 
In AA and NAThey say that if you follow the programme You will obtain a life beyond your wildest dreams When I first heard this I thought it meant in terms of money and material gains Nice house New car Pretty clothes Plenty of money Now I know different Now I know that a life beyond your wildest dreams means something else It means being clean and sober Wanting to be clean and sober It means having peace of mind Which you just can't put a price on It means feeling good about myself Liking Even loving myself It means getting through the day without hurting myself or anyone else It has precious little to do with money 
So Please say a little prayer for me They I get on well in my new job Please send some positive vibes my way It's so exciting to have something positive to write about Please take comfort in the fact that I have come from a very dark place And know that it is possible to live a life without ED or addiction
Right I'm off to make a cup of tea And soak up some sunHave a good Wednesday ya'll And I'll see you on the next post....