AG
RE: Your Play
Please read while ominous music plays.
Dear AG,
Thank you for submitting No Shot in Hell for consideration in Political Crap Week 2011.
While we think it’s rather amusing you would think we would select your play in this year’s program, we appreciated getting to know and vaguely recognize your voice.
Political Crap Week serves as an open access point to Politics R Controversial Cool! Play Company and it is essential that writers at every stage of their individual processes and careers are included in our selection process, but mostly those that already have a name that people would recognize. You may find a list of the chosen plays and playwrights below. You may regard them as gods. We do.
We wish you a mediocre amount of success as you continue to develop new work for the theatre and thank you again for killing some trees sending your play to the Politics Get Us Press R Cool!.
Sincerely,
Annita Lay & Relli Badly
THE CHOSEN ONES:
1.Falling Under Water by Maya Reputation Pro. Ceeds-Me
When Jack meets Jill, he takes her up the hill, but there is no pail of water. A deeply allegorical view of our economy, this play is sure to make no impact on the economy whatsoever!
2. The Past Was So Much Better Than the Present by Holly Smoke A. Bluunt
Miss the 70s? We do, too! They were better and had drugs. This play is surely to pack a punch! And also, nostalgia!
3. Guns Cause Problems by Amy Pacifist
Guns are bad. Don’t do guns.
4. Religion Causes Issues by William Mahr
Bob is a Jesuit priest and Esther is not. Worlds collide, explosions happen, and the very rocks of one family’s foundation is threatened to crumble as they travel to the Grand Canyon. How can you NOT LIKE THIS PLAY?!
5. Put a Feather in It! by Usa Patriot
What happens when two football teams – The Cowboys and the Indians- get together for an epic match of epic proportions? THEATER.
6. Internets: They Ain’t Just for Da Youngin No More by Simone Old
When technology and theater collide, funding often happens!
7. The Most Epic Play Ever Written by Zoe Poli-Tic
Nobody else should even bother, all! This play is so off the chain, we might get arrested for even thinking about doing it! It’s just everything ever! And it’s all done with megaphones! Nudity! Pouring water on an oil painting of Monet! BURNING THE AMERICAN FLAG LIVE ON STAGE, YA’ALL! EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE OFFENDED!
Please join us for a wine* and cheese reception.
*Wine donated by my mom from Trader Joe’s.
