I love these posts. It lets me tell you the stupid (and mostly insignificant) little secrets I have. I like to think we all do tiny benign things that make us human. And, I love it when you tell me yours in the comments.
I know for me, crop dusting is usually at the top of the list. This reminds me of a fart story I had in the liquor store awhile back. I hadn’t thought about that in awhile. You have to read it HERE.
Here are this week’s confessions:
1. I bought these cookies only because I knew my kids hate coconut and almonds. It’s all about me. I happen to love coconut and almonds. I guess another confession can be that there is blood in the picture below and I don’t know where it came from. But I swear I didn’t cut anyone with a knife when they were trying to take a cookie.
2. Tomorrow I am going to a Swim Lab with my new Ironman Boulder training group. I will be evaluated and judged for my poor technique. I do not like this. Sometimes I’d rather be a bad swimmer than be critiqued. I will wear this outfit to make sure I am well respected and taken seriously:
3. I took the necklace off the mannequin at Old Navy. I couldn’t find it anywhere else in the store and I wanted it. That in and of itself is not a big deal except that stealing it from the mannequin required climbing on the display stand and messing up the whole outfit. I still cannot figure out why my kids don’t like shopping with me.
4. Heidi did a double crap in someone’s yard and I only had one bag. I had used the bag to pick up crap #1 and wasn’t going to untie it to pick up crap #2. So I did what any law abiding citizen would do and kicked crap #2 into the street (this of course would be inadvisable with diarrhea).
This is not Heidi. This is a re-enactment from Google images
5. I spent several minutes yesterday watching this video of an infrared camera recording people in the airport farting and questioning if it is really real. I wondered obsessively that if it was real how I could get my hands on one because seriously, I can hardly imagine a better form of entertainment.
6. I went to get my free carwash on my birthday and they said they don’t do that anymore unless you are part of the frequent washer’s club. I said I was, which is not true because I only go once a year.
Those are my biggies.
Your turn. Give me one confession for the week. You’ll feel better.
SUAR
