We had a birthday dinner yesterdayWhich was niceMy sister made my favorite dinnerBoeuf bourguignonDelicious!It was a relaxed laid back affairFollowed by tea and apple tartPeople have me money instead of giftsAs I am going away in a couple of weeksMy mom did get me some beautiful Cath Kidson tea cups thoughAnd white chocolateAnd talcum powderWhich I love
I collected my meds
And headed back down to the surgery to see BredaIt was a really good session with herOne where we acknowledged the positives that are happening in my lifeShe noticed my glasses And my piercing And said I looked really wellWhich was nice to hear It used to be a case that when someone told me that I looked wellI had a mild panic attack But nowNow I am learning to accept the compliment in the spirit in which it was intendedWho'd have thought it...I guess my look is changing During my addiction and EDWhat I looked like just didn't matter I had no interest in clothes or hair or make up or my appearance at allIt's only really in the last year that I've started experimenting with my lookI guess now I know what I like I know what clothes suit me I'm a bit better at hair and make up As you know I go for the surfer type lookEven though I've never surfed a day in my lifeI still like the lookI've changed my whole wardrobe in the last yearI'm much more confident in what I wear And how I present myself Breda also noticed my piercing She said it was a really good look on meShe also mentioned how it's great thstbibdm asserting myself And doing what is right for meThis is the great thing about being that little bit older I'm more confident in myself More sure of myselfI know my likes and dislikesWhat suits me What doesn't I guess I'm now doing the experimenting thstbibfidnt get a chance to do in my twenties And it is such good fun!I told Breda about being discharged from MaryShe thought that was great The only negative is that I haven't gone back to meetings yetAnd she strongly advised that I doI know that I need toBut I'm finding it really hard to go backI know the longer I leave it The harder it will beSo my goal is to get to a meeting before I go away
I have such a good feeling that this year is going to be the best yetI'm the most well I've been in yearsAnd I plan to make the most of my health and well being As I said to Breda this morningIt has been a team effort to get this farMy family Friends Mary My doctor BredaMy psychiatrist You my fellow bloggersHave all played an integral role in my getting wellI couldn't have done it without each and every one of you
If I could say one thing To all of you that are suffering right nowPleasePlease PleaseDon't leave it as long as I did to get wellI know a lot of you are in your early twenties Some even younger than that My own twenties were a right offAnd when I was in the midst of my illnessI couldn't see a way outWeight gain was a huge barrierI resisted it so much I couldn't see any benefit to itI was willing to risk my healthMy happiness And my sanityJust to stay thinI can't lie Weight restoration is not funThe discomfortClothes getting tighterBloating Feeling fat and greedyBut slowly but surely I began to see the benefits of weight restorationMy General health drastically improvedI no longer felt dizzy WeakExhausted It was like a fog liftedSuddenly I could see more clearlyThink more clearly And also I got to buy all new clothesTo replace the teeny tiny clothes I used to wear My mood also improved I felt more positive and content in myself I know when you are in the throes of our illness Recovery seems like something that happens to others A foreign concept But if we could just make that leap of faithI promise you that you will get back ten fold what you put inI remember when I was getting clean from drugsI decided to give myself six monthsAnd really throw myself in to recoveryIf after those six months I didn't like it I could always go back to my EDIt would always be there My recovery might not beI guess the sane principle can be used with an ED We have nothing to lose Anyway Below are a couple of photos Me and my pajamas this morning A couple of the cards I gotAnd the cups my Mother gave meM
