33

It's my birthday on Sunday
Usually I don't look forward to  my birthday
Usually it only means that I have clocked up another year in the midst of this illness
Usually it means  that I go out for meal that I don't want and don't keep down
Usually I really don't enjoy it
But this year?
This year is different
This year I am really looking forward to my birthday
I am turning 33
But really I still feel like a teenager
But that's ok
Most people I know feel younger than they are
I am going to enjoy it this year
Because I am striving for recovery
Because I am going to do what I want to do (Afternoon Tea)
With the people I want to be around
Because I feel stronger
Because I feel happier
Because now my life is getting better
Because I am getting better
Because for the first time ever, I believe that I have a future
Because I actually can't believe I made it to 33 relatively unscathed
Because my body and my mind are healthier
Because it's a reason to celebrate
Because my family and I have suffered enough
Because it will be fun
And I deserve some fun
Because it's an excuse to get dressed up and go out
Because I've never really enjoyed my birthday
Because I am worth it