3 Years

My blog is three years old todayIt's hard to believeTime goes past so quicklyI can remember three years ago like it was yesterdayI had been reading blogs for some timeAnd saw that there was a great little community here on bloggerI wanted to be part of it I was so entrenched in my illnessSo lonelyDepressedAnxious AfraidI rarely left the houseBut as much as I was afraid of living my lifeI craved to be around others like me
I was welcomed in to this community with open armsIt was a safe place to come and be honestWithout fear of being judgedWhile I was in midst of my illnessI was accepted And there was no pressure to recoverI was knee deep in my disorder for the first two years of my bloggingThen last year things changed
I had just come out of treatment For the umpteenth time I felt utterly hopelessSo lowSo scared for my futureI ended up overdosingAnd I didn't tell anyone Until a week laterWhen I told MaryShe sprang in to actionAnd I had an appointment with my psychiatrist the next dayHe assessd meAnd changed my medsAdding in ProzacI didn't hold out much hope for the new medsIve been on so many different anti depressants over the yearsAnd they rarely workSo I was hoping against hope
HoweverA couple of weeks afterI began to feel a little betterThe fog dissipated My depression and anxiety lifted And I began to feel hope againI managed to get my binging and purging under controlThat was massiveAs I had been purging 10-20 times a dayIt was killing me
Slowly but surely I began to gain weightAnd yes my weight did rise to a place where I wasn't entirely comfortable in my own skinBut now it seems to have settledAnd I can live with itJust about
As time went onMy quality of life improvedI gave up smokingMy relationship with food was betterI started going to meetings Which is a huge helpAnd I generally felt a lot betterAbout meMy lifeMy world
Blogging through all of this has been amazingTo have documented every up and down is so awesomeI can read backAnd see how far I have come Also to share it with youYou all have been a big part of my storyI have met the most amazing kind, caring and thoughtful girls here on bloggerSome of you have been with me from the very beginningSome are more recentBut you all mean so very much to meYou are true friendsAnd I am eternally grateful for that
So Happy Birthday dear blog!Thank you for saving my sanity so many times Here's to another 3 years.....