"Happy Wednesday!"
When I wash the dishes I use the tools of dish soap, dish rag, dishwasher, my hands and my eyes and a towel sometimes to dry them. When I need gas in my car the tool I use is the gas pump. When I post my blog the tools I use is a computer, keyboard, my mind, my hands and my eyes. When I need to get somewhere the tools I use are either my car, my feet or my bike. When I need to know something the tools I use is my mouth to ask a question, a book or the internet. When I need to function in this world there are always tools I need to use in order to go on. I use many tools in my life!
When I was drinking the tools I mainly used was my sarcastic mouth, my bad attitude and my hand and arm to lift a drink to and from my mouth. When I was drinking I often used my feet for either walking or sometimes running from or too some place or sadly, to escape a dangerous situation. When I drank the tools I used to function were negative thinking, doom and gloom attitude and mostly I do not know, I do not care, I did not do it, I did not say it, or I do not remember type responsibility. The tools I thought helped me get out of things really got me into more trouble, depression and less love and respect for myself. The tools I used when I drank were the only one's I knew of, I was taught, I was shown, I was given! The tools I carried when I was drinking were self destructive, lack of love for myself and others and mostly disabled me from growing spiritually, emotionally and physically. I used many distorted and broken tools when I drank!
The day I chose to become sober I was given tools. Don't drink, go to meetings and pray! My very first tools. When I was first sober I did not realize that these were tools. I did not realize anything until I began to open up, share and reach out. Ironic, those too, are all tools in order to help me stay sober. Still, I did not realize it. It wasn't until I was 7 months sober that an older woman stood at a meeting and said we are all tools in this program! I thought to myself, "What the heck is she talking about?" You, see when she said that my impression of a tool is a wrench, a hammer, a screw driver and so forth. I never looked at people, places and things as tools. It was a "Spiritual Awakening" at it's best! I later went up to that woman and asked her to explain what she meant by that and she carried on by telling me that we learn by others just as we learn how to use a hammer, screw driver, computer, how to drive a car, how to read and etc. She continued to explain how the 12 steps were tools, the Big Book, sponsors, the phone, asking questions, being patient, praying, not reacting, and it went on as though forever. That moment, I just realized that anything I learn from is a blessed tool in my life and that I should cherish it, take it with me, grow from it, learn from it and change myself if need be. The tools in my life are endless and I always seem to find a new one everyday. I have learned many things by the endless tools in my life today!
Lastly, the tools in my life today are anything that helps me or allows me to improve my situation, my life, my difficulties, my challenges and mostly my outlook on life spiritually, emotionally and physically. I no longer look at a tool as a general item. A tool in my life is more than a hammer, dish soap, a car or any material item. Spiritually, my tool is God of my understanding and my ability to let go when I need to and ask God for guidance at any given moment. Emotionally, my tools are my feelings and how I deal with them "without" being impulsive, negative and the need to react or defend myself at every moment. I know that I always can use the tools of sharing my feelings, writing my feelings, accepting my feelings without stuffing them and allowing them to take over me. Physically, my tool of my body to keep moving and using my energy in a positive way, healthy way and mostly allows me to balance out everything in my body, mind and spirit. I have many tools besides, going to meetings, sponsorship, and the 12 steps. Of course those tools helped me build a foundation in order to stay sober, but the most important thing in my recovery is living on life terms and knowing I have many tools in my life in order to live outside of the program. The program is a part of me just as my tools are today.
Do you have many tools in your life? If so, what tools do you use the most on a daily basis? Mine,...is God! Today, I will run many miles to remind me of how many tools I have in my life. I will enjoy my long run!
Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at www.sobrietyfitness.com.
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