Humor Magazine

You Probably Won't Have Use for My Lungs...

By Gingerfightback @Gingerfightback

You probably won’t have use for my lungs…and my liver is pretty useless too…and my eyes are a bit blurry….but help yourself to the rest.

Londoners flocked to the High Street’s in their droves last weekend, spending 17% more than last year on useless tat that no one really wants.

We’re supposedly about to enter a triple dip recession, what better excuse than to have a final fling with the credit card.

I’ve given up on gift buying for everyone else though, except for the kids, I decided everyone else has enough stuff, when my family ask what I want for Christmas I tell them nothing which leaves them disappointed.  They seem obsessed with gift exchanging, but what could I possibly want?  I really don’t need anything.

I know my mum will end up paying £30 into my bank account despite me insisting she doesn’t, I don’t need the money and considering what I would spend it on she may as well gift wrap a carton of cigarettes and a case of beer.

I am not a complete Ebenezer, I think of other ways to give at Christmas, I’ll take care of the Christmas dinner for 8 people, I’m happy with a bottle glass of wine in the kitchen pottering around, and happy when they are greedily tucking into the end result.

So instead of buying that scarf that your mother kind of liked, or the DVD you think your brother may not have, give to people who actually need something.

There are many simple things you can do, donate to a food bank, they are hanging around the supermarket right now taking donations, or why don’t you give blood?

Or do something that takes a couple of minutes and sign up for your country’s organ donation register, it’s no skin off your nose (they don’t use the skin of your nose).  Unfortunately it is an opt in system and people just don’t bother, after I posted this on Facebook once I had a couple of Likes, but I expect few if any actually bothered signing up, I think a picture of my cat would have gathered more Likes.

Why wouldn’t you donate?  You may spend an age organising your household recycling, think of it as an extension of that.

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