Yes, I Am Still Alive (just)!

Just from reading my last post (which I'm sure I wrote over a shocking two weeks ago!) I can now see where I was headed... busy days + late nights + no rest = fast track to burnout.
Usually I cope with exhaustion quite well, but this time a whole load of stress was put in the mix and my body decided it couldn't cope. After going to the doctor a few times with complaints of random spells of dizziness, confusion, the inability to stop myself falling asleep one my adrenalin had stopped pumping, and strange bursts of anxiety and clumsiness, he had told me to cut back on anything that was raising my stress levels and manage my days better, preferably with better home support.
Hmm well, as all horseriders know, it is a bit difficult to just "cut back" on thinking about their issues and things that have to be seen to and fixed, and forgetting about a huge wave of competitions coming your way fast is definitely impossible. Now I don't see myself to be a stress-head at competitions at all, once I leave the yard in the lorry, I am as laid-back as a turtle. It is the day-to-day things that stress me out, whether its my horse's back being sore, if they can't be turned out, if Julius's feet get thrush-ey, if they aren't drinking enough water, if Julius won't eat his food and is losing weight... My god the list NEVER ends! And to have better home support... well I get all the support I can ask for from my family, but unfortunately they are 12000 miles away in Australia, so living by myself is the only option. And it isn't so nice to come home to an empty flat every night, especially when you are on the very tip of a nervous breakdown.
So whilst trying (but failing) to keep my stress levels down and just take a bit of time out, I've been competing and training hard. I have all those things to tell you about that I mentioned in my previous post, and I still have my "Who... Post England" that I'm conjouring up in my head. Thankfully my mom is now back in the country so a bit of my time has been freed up to blog and do some more study.
So, yes I am still alive, and look forward to more posts coming your way! :D