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Yeah, But Does This Company Give A Severance Package For My Cats, Too?

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

MarketWatch reports that Yahoo Inc. is offering a new incentive employees: gifts for their cats and dogs!

What could the gifts be? According to the article, Yahoo will not comment beyond saying that the gifts will be “Yahoo-branded.”

3 Yahoo Branded Gifts We’d Like To See For Employee Cats And Dogs

1. Voice modifiers that change your dog’s bark to a Yahoo yodeler’s yodel. Time to give the neighbors something more interesting to complain about than “incessant barking.”

2. Lasers that live stream Yahoo Finance stock quotes for Yahoo onto your dog to determine whether employee pet gifts are correlated with stock values.

3. Dog and cat sweaters with controversial headlines to get people to click on (formerly known as pet) your cat at dog. A sweater with a link saying “You won’t believe who Justin Bieber had ice cream with” or “Which ice creams in your freezer may actually kill you” will lead to plenty of clicks on your pet!


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