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World Currently Ending In Asia, According To Ancient Mayans… But You Want To Read About The IKEA Monkey Court Case, Right?

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

It’s currently December 21, 2012 in Australia and parts of Asia like Tokyo, Shanghai, and Hong Kong, meaning obviously the world has ended there, if you believe the Mayan-calendar-end-of-the-world-theories.

In related, news, and yes it may be related news, the former owner of the monkey recently found hanging out at a Toronto IKEA store spent time in Court in Oshawa, Ontario, today, according to the Toronto Star.  Specifically, the former owner/IKEA shopper reportedly handed her monkey over to Toronto Animal Services after being fined for possessing a prohibited animal. The monkey was transferred to an animal sanctuary, who now claims legal ownership of the animal.

How is this related to the end of the world? The judge presiding over the case adjourned the matter to Friday, the official time for the world to end, according to the Mayan calendar in Toronto, which is in the Eastern Time Zone.

3 Questions We Have As The World Potentially Ends

1. Where will we buy Apple products to document the end of the world in HD if the Mayans were right, and China does not in fact exist?

2. If the world does end tomorrow in Toronto, won’t that just complicate this already very complicated monkey-ownership issue?

3. What if this monkey holds the secret to preventing the world from ending tomorrow? That’s how it would work in any movie we watch featuring monkeys. Although, we can confidently say, that in the movie, the monkey will save the world seconds after the judge makes a decision.

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