Dating Magazine

Why I Am Pissed Off About The IPhone and The Tech Community for the Missing Memo.

By Kelly Speechless @KellySpeechless

    Apple Product’s Look Prettier and say, “I have money.” 2013-02-20_17.41.08

    I remember my white apple laptop. I got it because it made me feel like Cher Horiwitz or well….more of a bad ass. I remember when I need to replace it and receive a pink dell as a gift I was pissed. Not because it was a dell (I cried and was sad about that not pissed) but because I never told anyone that it worked better! It’s like the apple and myself had a little secret that early on if something was better we never told a sole. But I lost all that shit after the whole, “I don’t give a fuck,” gene popped in so the secret was over by the time mobile and Apple’s IPhone entered.

    My IPhone Story And What People Were Saying About Android.

    “If you don’t have an IPhone your a loser.”

    I was over the whole mentality of those without are less. In terms of recognizing what society said about letting a popular entity slide and go hard on the less popular person or product I was just to selfish to follow those rules.

    My high school Kelly voice would (let’s face it now Kelly voice as well) say,


    “ I don’t put people down unless they fuck with me. I don’t have a financial outlook preference, or “too cool,” factor. I was popular and known as a huge bitch in high school (surprise surprise) but if I got in someone’s face it wasn’t because they were rich, poor, ugly, popular, cheerleader, Team mom PTA #1 bitches daughter, or known as a loser to others. I didn’t care what people didn’t have, I was to busy on the “what I want to have,” aspect. The only difference in the judgment in terms of being mean to those who were mean to me first would change would be: If they were huge and could beat my ass, and then after I got my ass beat – the rumored little ones who can beat your ass in a almost freak of nature performance. So besides that, being popular didn’t make me deter from my one goal: What I want, and when your too focused on what you want there is no room  to give a fuck if, or worry about what status my school was based on their parents money.”

    Your App   Me

    As I Got Older  IPhone Vs. Non IPhone Owners Was Still Not An Interest: Only Me having the phone mattered.

    “If a person doesn’t have an IPhone who cares? But If I don’t have an IPhone I will die!”

    IPhone4 – I loved it and dressed it up in the usual – Pink – Bling – (you know that shit slutty girls do to their phones-I can’t help myself and love that shit).

    I Heard About Android……

    Android? I heard they are like plastic toys for a Barbie doll, and are trash. 2013-02-21_05.14.02

  • I heard they are “custom,” like for people who are technical coded people to test stuff out.

  • They are “low end.”

  • LOW END or a “Low End Phone,” means: (low end means your not worth a human body if you can’t solidify that with a $500 dollar phone or if you are low end your low class, low to the ground, low in life….you pretty much suck. (THAT IS NOT TRUE AND SO FUCKED UP because it was all the time said to deter the fact that the lower end was the white apple.)

  • ME: “I have never used one so I don’t know. I do hate that little green fucker though. Is he on the phone? Like a little green fucker icon? That shit is ugly.”

    George Jetson Didn’t Come To The Release Party He Had An Android.

    IPHONE5 RELEASE: Would Have Been Fine If They Just Would Have Stopped With The Whole, “It’s a Secret Type of BS Execution. They also hyped it up so big Somehow the Jetson’s cartoon would finally happen mentality came into the mindset of consumers (or just me).

    It’s ok to release a phone upgrade that doesn’t do the most innovative new creative aspectual, “BOOM MOTHER FUCKER,” release. The hype was not hype really either. It was promises for apple lovers to get this awesome gift in a way.



    Drunken Fate Does Happen: How My IPHONE5 Last Night Was Spent.

    At age 28, (ew) I don’t do the whole, “get wasted as f***,” nights as often for obvious reasons. So, on my birthday for the first time in a few years, my crazy ass friends decided to self inflict some public ridiculousness into the energy field and went out.

    I dropped my IPHONE5 and it broke. My fault. Ok……I threw it but not at anyone….I was pissed (why? Who knows) tossed it backwards from elbow to wrist like a bowling ball hitting my care bumper (not a mark) and then dropping into an open cement drain.

    What you think my crazy ass left it? You should know better. We got someone out there (fast food parking lot) by being three good looking drunk women (now with our two boyfriends and one fuck buddy of my friend showed up. They did not go to the celebration for reasons I feel I don’t need to mention.

    Fast forward I got my broken IPHONE5 back and the screen was still viewable and the rest of the phone was fucked.

    New phone time came with hangover in toe, and for some reason I decided to test the green guy and tried on some android phones. The rest is history.



    OPPOSITE: “Low end.” TRUTH: Prettier, Cleaner, Smoother, LG made mine, GORILLA Glass, Shinier and the IPHONE5 was a Mercedes (not fully loaded) and my Android was a new Bentley.

    “Custom.” REALLY MEANT: Customize your free shit into your phone instead of your charged for stupid shit into your phone. IPHONE apps cost $$ and aren’t bad but compared to the Android apps there First row LEVEL ONE and Android is Front Row Floor. Since you choose you can download outside the play store at your own (mostly dumb unless know what the fuck your doing risk).

    How much? (Kelly product expert bad bitch tricks included discounted price) $215.00


    IPHONE4 $500 (extras: 100)

    IPHONE5 $500 (extras 150)

    Total= $1250 (without including cover, chargers, cases, battery or insurance.)

    Android: 9 months and next phone.

    LG LTE 4G Dual Core Processor With GORILLA GLASS $215.00

    Extras and 1 Year Warranty: $0.00

    April 2013 Getting a new one for

    $322.00 (not sure which one) Warranty deal next phone 2 years free.

    Total= $537.00

    The IPhone was never a bad phone. It was just a phone that was no where near the Android options. It also was in NO WAY $713.00 Better (amount of two phones android and two iPhones).



       (why apple didn’t even feel their pinky toe fall asleep when they were outed for not being a better phone on a more United front.).

      Why didn’t the IPhone Go Past Or Keep Up With The Android Phones? Didn’t they know this would happen.

      1. Half of the reason they did nothing in terms of heavy creative work and innovation with action toward the finish line was due to Narcissism sprinkled with a little entitlement.

      Look up Narcissism in any psychological index and you won’t see a very mentally capable person presented there. There crazy. I did not put links to explanations of this because they are too many. Search some and use your gut to determine which source explains it with truth conveyed with logic.

      Jesus For Halloween 365 Day’s A Year?


      They think almost Godly.

      Everything has worked out for them so far. Why has it been so good? Because of themselves. Some of that is healthy and they deserve this by the way; the self pride.

      It’s starts to get fuzzy when you start to believe you will only see a future of good. Or since you are the shit and remember, “God or Jesus,” then it will continue to be this way. It being perfect for you.

      What about the fan’s?

      They think their loyal fans will still want to buy apple products and even if they don’t we don’t care because remember we are God???

      2. They knew it was possible so why didn’t they make it that way? Why didn’t they stop this! THEY LET THEM GET AWAY!

      More Godly narcissistic cloud like existence (not that cloud). They are untouchable (so they think).

      When you untouchable you can create “ahhhhhhhhhhhh!,” moments with more time in between. That way you not only look like your “it,” but you seem like your three years in between was used to grind, creative, innovate and master a creation of what Apple means.


  • You are so enthralled in the future being on top or successful that you spread out releases’ in order to have more time for…..YOURSELF!

  • If you have only so many known innovative models for the next five years (and your God remember) then you don’t release them all at once! Why? Because that would mean more work, and more risk that creative vision won’t produce an outcome. If you have more time to linger on then you can slowly wait for the crackle to pop.

  • Surprise! It happened! Where is the shock? Where is the, “OHHH NOOO!!!”

  • Apple does not give a fuck that their little plan of relying on their perfection to just ward off competitors did not go the way intended.

  • Why aren’t they freaking out? THEY are still so deeply warped into that narcissism and perfect mental zone. So what? They are thinking. So what?

    AND THEY ARE RIGHT TO THINK THAT. How many people would love to retire or have made millions from a company only to be in competition with…..who cares?

    The best is only important when you get something from it and they already have everything. No apologies and I half way understand their missing devastation due to they never failed! They just didn’t care enough out of psychosis or in born nature true grit that was never there to begin with.

    Their Narcissism isn’t even evil, and while the God Like persona is unhealthy and disturbing; it isn’t one from a place that slowly went from being motivated by the consumer in a moral love of the product itself or the way it came out.

    The inborn DNA was not the character we wanted Apple to be. We told ourselves it wasn’t true just like we first told ourselves that Santa Claus was real the last time before we knew he wasn’t. It doesn’t make them evil and it surely doesn’t make Android Santa Claus!

    Google And Why There NOT The Alternative Santa To Believe In.

    Google makes it no secret that if your up shits creek it’s going to take your little boat and put it up in the public searchable arena of what makes up most of their billion dollars.

    What do you do? Email them? Cant call them? So…..Your Fucked.

    Google says by action that there going to do what they feel like doing. They create some bad products that don’t work sometimes and don’t worry about them flopping because there reputation isn’t important to them. We will guinea pig the fuck out of their shit and do so by choice. Then they will play musical chairs (the fucking weird version) and we will bitch, or praise or “hangout.”

    Sometimes Google (if Google was a character or group)….Well…They are more the rich crack head character in the social media names or powerhouses.

    They are not than satanistic. They are Narcissist for sure but not in the Floating Godly way because they are to busy twitching and spinning their wheels. So there not pursuing evil, but they are just missing that stop and take a breath gene. There to busy looking for more crack.

    They don’t tell you that you will be on the bad end of experience but that you will be experienced none the less.

    I don’t use Google+ anymore and even tried a second time out of a, “FML mood.”

    And but yet again Picasa and Google+ giggled through my private settings and publicly displayed my pics (this time ones that said something like, “If you see me I am supposed to be locked in Picasso under private. Will someone turn me in?”


    Gut Instinct and Google+

    Of course Google plus is weird but its more than that. We all never joined and it had nothing to do with comparing it to Facebook or that silly topic of “controversial,” tic tact toe. We heard our gut instinct say, “Hush…hmmm…. this is fucked up something in here is just wrong.”

    It feels like your in the white room with the goggles in Charlie and the Chocolate factory, and you picture “hangouts,” as the boat ride.

    ITS INSTINCT! Its not a rumor, a belief or at trend. It might be later but alone it’s only my gut that said to get on dry land.

    Google Drive has now been dropped from my usage of Google products because of the obvious increased chance that my documents “could,” (will) be up with the ability for not only everyone to see but who knows??? Maybe someone might add on to my boss’s proposal or report? I am sure that would be fine with them. Yea right! Fired is what I will be. Say what you will, and put out any list that says, “There private you just have to….”

    There is one way but It’s not worth it for me personally for me to keep the docs.

    Here is another 10 percent chance your private docs wont be viewed, changed, or “saved automatically,”

    Here you can find helpful Google Docs Tool’s If You Still Want To Use Drive or Docs but are (before reading this) worried about privacy.

    Am I mad at Google? No. Do I feel my Android choice and Google Marriage has been a hot mess. No, but if you’re a moron you might.

    I am not mad at any company because well…that’s crazy but I do feel heat towards the Android and Apple enthusiasts who never gave the memo that Android was better LOUD ENOUGH for me to get that understanding. I am also mad because I love money and & $713.00 if at the time was saved it would be long gone. The point is it could have been mine and while the future will be HIGH CLASS LOW PRICE all the way, If I would have never gotten wasted and thrown my IPhone5 at my own car in a fast food parking lot, and if it never bounced off and dove into that open cement drain at 3 am I might be still use a less capable phone than I want.

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