Dating Magazine

Why Having A Gym Membership Can Make You Feel Like A Loser.

By Kelly Speechless @KellySpeechless
Working Out At Home Versus Being A Dumb Ass.

Gym Membership Statistics
Gym Membership Statistics | Statistic Brain

Average amount of times a gym membership owner will go to the gym every week 2

Average monthly cost of a gym membership $55

Average amount of gym membership money that goes to waste from under utilization $39

Percent of people with gym memberships that never use them 67%

Percent of personal training that takes place at the gym 66%

Total amount of people over the age of 55 with gym memberships (2004) 10.2 million

Total amount of gym memberships owned as of 01/09 45.5 million

Total gym membership revenue for 2008 $19.1 billion

Percent of health clubs that offer gym membership discounts to families, couples, and married couples 89%

Total percent of gym membership sales down from 2010 to 2011 -16%Gym Membership Statistics-

Why We Don’t Use Our Gym Memberships.
With all the best intentions we take a tour of our beautiful local gym and see all the possibility it showcases. Gleaming symbolism, reaps through this arena of future progress as we know it. As our credit card swipes our outlook on this upcoming year of benefits this heaven will bring. Unfortunately, some of us end being drafted monthly and our “free,” checking accounts start to dwindle and we start to sweat bullet’s, that were not created on the elliptical.

We Dread The Set Up More Than The Execution.
The main issues with having a gym membership, is not using it. The guilt that follows is simply the due to the procrastination and final decline of the preparation in going to the fitness center location itself. Getting dressed for your workout, grabbing the car keys, driving to the gym, parking and finally walking in; become a dreaded process. It is sometimes easier for people to put off working out all together when faced with the dreaded pre and post steps needed to fulfill the gym attending chore. Once the workout itself begins everything is usually good to go, but that preparation will always be a big reason gym memberships go unused.

Guilt Doubles.
So not only do we feel guilty if our hard earned money goes down the tubes from not using our gym memberships, then the guilt of not achieving the results physically – the access to the gym was intended for – has hit a stalemate. This means that your spending money that you don’t have and don’t even have shit to show for it materialistically.

Instead of prepping for your appearance in public for 20 minutes or more, you can stay at home. Avoid all the treadmill awkward moments, perverts, naked women or men (who should not be walking around in Heaven naked let alone a locker room!) and monthly fees! Get your tennis shoes on and whatever gear you want to wear. Pop in a workout DVD.

Do Somethin'

Now here is the trick:You don’t have to workout to the DVD if you don’t want to. Just keep the bitch on until the DVD is over (credits too). If you workout to half of it, none, or the whole thing, you have done your job. REPEAT this everyday of the week. Eventually, you will work out. Also, you will discover that you need to get another DVD or explore other options to improve your collection.

Welcome to the Dance

Excuses Quick List:

  1. What if I don’t have home gym equipment? Equipment: Are you training for a marathon or entering a body building based competition? No. Free weights are cheap, and, save three month’s worth of gym membership payments and you can buy an elliptical (buy the elliptical instead of the treadmill if you get to do this.
  2. What If the TV Is Being Used? Is the television being occupied? Portable DVD Player- -Do It.
  3. What If There Is No Room? No Room? Master Bathroom-Portable DVD Player-Bonus: Mirror Because It Is Fun Looking At Ourselves In This Light For Some Odd Reason.

List Of 10 Reasons Why Having A Gym Membership AGAIN Next Year Is = To Self Inflicted Punishment.
1. Naked Creepy People In The Lockers.
2. Pervert’s
4. The whole issues with sweat, germs, towels, and handles.
5. Magazines. Forgetting to bring yours, your magazine not fitting on the machine, your radio wont work, or gasp…..You have no magazine or music!
6. Hearing Constant Grunt’s or Voices Of Encouragement-Not only is this annoying when you hear something that might be mildly entertaining you look around, and can never find where it’s coming from!
7. The Elliptical is  their but three months or more of a membership will buy you a new elliptical.
8. Parking lots, of all gyms are creepy and at night make you feel paranoid.
10. When you are actually fired up to workout someone and her friend has taken the last two of the machine you want to use and they are going so slow that once in a while the machine stops. They are wearing long sleeves with the magazine you wanted hanging loosely in their hands and talking about stupid ass shit.

Table At Top Of Page Source:Gym Membership Statistics | Statistic Brain

TIP FOR THE CRAZY Bitches out there who like to partake in activities that benefit even if acting crazy as bat shit is included (privatly of course) You will need – Hip Hop music or chick singing to hip hop, Attitude: I don’t give a fuck, Door: Locked, Biggest Mirror you can manage in front of yourself based on room, timer, Mentality: Really not giving a fuck.

  • IT’S FUN! IT’S Free! It is being done sober (hopefully drinking comes after working out)
  • IT’S BASED ON PREFERENCE: Be who you wanna be-Britney, Pink, The Girl Sleeping With The Guy Who Sings the Song Acting/Performance, Holding a brush, I don’t care. Just move.
  • I WAS MADONNA LAST WEEK: I went there and didn’t like it to much so I just went back to, “Muse,” Super massive black hole” where the “I am a bad ass moving enept script always comes in clear.
  • Dance slutty, dance ballet, dance naked, dance cheer style, just move. My Fav: BRITNEY SPEARS WORKOUTS/ADULT PRIVATE OUTBURST OF ACTION/WORKOUTS NEEDED A BREAK. WHEN IN DOUBT? Don’t watch the home dvd while it runs: Keep it playing but turn up for example: Fergit London Bridge and shake your shit around.

You Can Dance

You Can Dance (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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By Julie Hibbard Tomlinson
posted on 08 November at 04:32

Join Anytime Fitness. It proves most of this stereotype wrong!