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Why doesn’t my mom love me?
It’s a question I find myself asking every day, especially since I had my son 17 months ago. My Mum left when i was 12, last thing she said was “I’m going shop too get some milk, be back soon”, we didn’t see her again until 3 months later, she ran off with my dad’s best friend. As a child I helped my dad look after the other 3 children, as a single father of four it wasn’t easy on him so I did everything I could, like bath the kids, teach my younger sisters about periods etc. Something my mom should have been doing, not me.
The year my mom left, was one of the hardest years of my dad’s life, not only did his wife leave, he had a cancer scare and was going through tests, and sadly our grandma passed away, his mum, he felt like he was in a dark place, so it made me want to help out even more than ever, I gave up my childhood too help raise my siblings.
My Sister who’s now 18, prefers my mum, they have a “best friend” relationship and it tears me apart knowing that my sister was only 7 when our mom left, I did everything for her, yet she chose my mom over the rest of the family. I get very jealous of the fact she has a mom there for her. But what I wonder is why does my mom leave her other kids out? Surely she loves us too? Since having my son, I couldn’t imagine doing the things she’s put us kids through; she goes months without seeing us, not even a word! I can’t even go a day without talking or seeing my baby.
All my life she never showed she cared, never was the “I love you” cuddly type.
Last year I was diagnosed with postnatal depression, my mom knew about this, yet never asks if I’m OK, offer me support yet my sister was diagnosed with depression and she supported her.
So mum, why don’t you love me? I guess some women aren’t made out to be mothers, or in my case can only love one child at a time?
I’m so grateful I have my grandma (mums mum) she has been there through thick and thin, I really don’t know what I would do without her, she’s my life and my dad, well he’s my hero, not many men can say they have raised 4 kids on his own for 10 years.
I guess I will never know why my mom does what she does, especially now she has a grandson, she still doesn’t make the effort, but I’ve come to realise, she’s the one missing out.
This inspirational post was written anonymously by a mom who is a member of my Facebook mums group. I have full permission to share her story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post please contact me.
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