We often find ourselves on the receiving end of unwelcome criticism from individuals we don't know. The rise of the internet has given birth to a new form of cowardly critique and bullying in the form of anonymous trolls. At some point in our lives, we've all been on the receiving end of this mild or dramatic vitriol and it's hard not to let it get to us. It makes it's way into our minds like an ear worm and we can't stop thinking about it. We start to second guess what we wrote, created, or did. Could I have done it better? Should I have made different choices? Should I have done it at all? Am I good enough?
Even if we do know the author of our supposed discontent, the criticism is always coming. Humans seem to have an incessant need to critique others whether it's asked for or not. This isn't going away anytime soon, and we will continue to teach our kids to "develop a tough skin" or a "stiff upper lip" to guard against the harm it can cause. Very often, though, your intended audience isn't the one critiquing you in the first place. It is someone you weren't attempting to communicate with in the first place, weren't attempting to share your voice or your art with, and you weren't even thinking about them. It's not for them. Whatever "it" might be.
When we sit down to create something, we need to know up front who it's for. Are we making it for ourselves, as a cathartic act or an expression of our individuality? Are we attempting to convey a message to a specific person or group of people? Are we delivering a product for a client that has hired us? Who is it for?
Once we identify the who, then the other voices shouldn't matter. We don't need to waste our time worrying about the critiques of someone who wasn't the intended audience in the first place. These external, unwanted consultants are simply distractions. They serve to take us away from our work, to make us doubt ourselves, and pull us away from the work itself. There is no upside to engaging with your troll, whether you know them or not. Recommit that time, energy, and mental bandwidth to the work you want to be doing, for the audience you are serving.
We must, of course, separate this discussion from that of artfully and tactfully receiving warranted feedback. One of the most challenging tasks for any leader is figuring out how to deliver effective feedback that empowers someone to realize their true potential. When your intended audience is providing critique, you'd do well to listen. Some of it may be objective, but often it's subjective and you need to keep that in mind. You still don't need to respond or defend at all times, but you should listen. It's for them, so you best listen to what they think.
In every other instance, take that energy and invest it in the work. Continue to create, to write, to perform, to speak to your audience. Listen to what they have to say and block out the rest. Remember who it's for.
