I've had occasion recently to do a lot of reflecting on behavior change. I've been interested for some time in the field of behavioral economics and the notion that individuals often don't do what is in their own best interest. We start to see examples all around us of people making seemingly bad decisions while being fully convinced in the rightness of that same decision. Sometimes we are unaware, and sometimes the cognitive dissonance is so strong it smacks us in the face. Logical, rational beings would be presented with the evidence and make changes accordingly. We are not logical, rational beings.
This important detail can be a valuable reminder when working towards social change. Any social justice movement, or simply your advocating for a new coffee maker in the breakroom, needs to start with an understanding of where someone else is at in that moment. If we aren't aware of their perspective and we haven't thought about what they may think about a particular idea first, than anything we say to them will be delivered with a healthy side of assumptions. We need to meet people where they are at in social justice work (and work in general) if we are to have any chance of realizing the types of culture change we hope to see in the world. This means we need to take the time to understand their point-of-view, to better understand where resistance to change might live.
When we have a better understanding of their perspective and why they might object to a new idea, we can begin narrate a more personalized story. We can speak to them as an individual, and not simply part of a crowd. If I don't understand why you disagree with something in the first place, then what hope do I have of helping your perspective evolve and incorporate new information?
This greater understanding also allows us to better identify points where agreement is already present. As human beings, we are more likely to listen to, agree with, and work with "people like us". Those commonalities exist in a multitude of spaces, some obvious, and some far less so. If we can identify those similarities and make them evident to everyone involved, the conversation will shift. Someone will be more likely to truly discuss the heart of the matter, and move past the social media talking points.
A teacher once told me that we can't hold people accountable for where they are at, but we can teach them differently and hold them accountable for what they've learned. This statement has stuck with me for over 20 years and I continue to find wisdom in it. If we can stop trying to engagement people where we are at, and start meeting them where they are at, perhaps we'll realize we have more in common than we think. Those commonalities can become the spark for change.
