12/13/2011 – by Aliya Leigh
Sleeping around versus monogamy? First, I have to tell you a little game I used to play. It was exciting, wonderful, drama-free until something clicked in my head. Ok, let me explain.
Not just for fools.
I was in a relationship for 6 crazy months and I mean crazy. My partner of 6 months wanted me as a thing or trophy instead of a person. I was treated poorly in the relationship, but I thought it was love. My friends would tell me to get out of the relationship, but I never listened to them. Why should I? I was in love with the person of my dreams, but those dreams turned into nightmares. The person who I was in love with cheated on me; which hurt me horribly. For awhile, I was devastated I became sick to the point that I needed to see a doctor. I was crushed and I vowed to never feel that type of pain again.
After I healed enough, I decided to go online and to clubs to find my targets. If I did my preparation well, my target would be mine for the night. I had the “I don’t care about you, but I will make you my bitch for the night” attitude. With this attitude and feeling, within a 3-year period, I slept with so many people that a magazine wrote article about me causing my blog to become very popular. I was the star of most of my own movies and I loved every minute of it.
I didn’t care about the people that I slept with, they just filled a temporary need. The grand prize for every person was that they had me for the night and I got bragging rights (or so I thought). Yet, in the end, I was still alone. I was still hurting. I was still broken-hearted.
What clicked? Being bored and being used. A few of my targets were using me as the target to improve their social status in the community. I was becoming a joke and it was not fun anymore.
Once, while I was at a sex house, looking at the orgies taking place in front of me, it then began to dawn on me. This life that I was leading was no longer fun anymore. It became disgusting and plain sick. I was tired of the game and the routine. Overall, I was just tired and I couldn’t keep going on. It was time for me to grow up. So just like that, I stopped.
Monogamy means security. You are with the same person day in and day out. You know, you can count on your partner with anything and everything. There is no question. You know them and they know you. They know what you are going to say or do. There is nothing wrong with that, so why did I hide from it for so long?
At first, I thought monogamy would be boring but when your partner is your best friend, everyday is exciting. You know where you stand, you know what the future will be like (hopefully) and you feel safe.
Monogamy is honest, respect, commitment and being in love with the person you share your bed with. Yes, there are days that you can’t stand your partner, but in the long run you can’t see your life without them.
Sleeping around is like have a temporary job.
- There is no commitment.
- You don’t know when the assignment will end.
- You can’t invest in the company and the company won’t invest in you.
- No security.
- No long-term plans.
Monogamy is like having a contract high paying job.
- There is a commitment.
- You know, you will have this job for years to come.
- You can invest in the company and the company can invest in you.
- Security.
- You can make long-term plans.
At the same time, monogamy doesn’t suit everyone. When it comes down to it, it is a personal choice. Just make sure that the choice you make is something that you truly feel and not your choice because you’re hiding from something.
