Trust me, its not another bottle of perfume..
{ My mom + my bebe at a park last summer }
As a blogger I get dozens of emails every spring from my pr contacts asking me to promote certain products for Mother's Day. Every year it's the same requests and each year I decline. Reason being; I don't think Mother's Day needs to be about a gift you find on the internet. I can tell you to go out and buy your mother/wife/baby mama the latest handbag or a shiny new pair of shoes but will that really recognize all of the hard work she has put into oh you know, just raising a tiny human?
So what does mom want for Mother's Day?
Last year was my first Mother's Day, and I'll admit I wanted recognition for the five months of literal blood sweat and tears I put into carrying, birthing and caring for my new baby. I didn't want or need another gift. God knows my closet is literally exploding, I don't need another pair of shoes (I cannot believe I'm admitting that )What I needed was encouragement and yeah I'll say it, some praise. I can admit that because parenting is fucking hard, and being a mother is sometimes the harder portion of the parenting equation. Has anyone ever wanted to say that but thought "I will come across as whiny?" That's the problem here. As mothers we're not supposed to complain or we may seem ungrateful, we're not supposed to cry or we may seem weak, and we better not admit failure because then we would have let others know we failed at something that should just "come naturally" to us. So every female is born knowing, without any doubt, how to keep a baby happy and healthy. We are just all Martha Stewart up in here, cooking, cleaning, growing vegetables in our backyard and birthing babies. Oh and baking a cake from scratch 3 times weekly.
If you can do all of that than I am proud of you and I am also jealous because most days I don't even comb my hair. I will humble brag though that I do keep my home spotless and I cook three meals every day. But that doesn't make me spacial. Every mom has shit to get done during the day. Unless you're Kate Middleton, does that chick even see her kids? So let me tell you, there is nothing easy about being a first time mother. So many people commented that I "made it look easy" but ummm, I was pooping my pants a bit before Elyse was born. All I could think about was what on earth was I going to do with her once she arrived? What if I cant feed her, what if I drop her, what if I cant soothe her when she's fussy, what if she doesn't sleep (hahaha she didn't sleep). And those are just worries that cover the first 2 days of her life.The panic extended to her toddler years and then her childhood and her teenage years, oh my god, I still get night sweats worrying about that. I have heard from other moms since, that I am not alone and that these fears do not only apply to first time mothers. Guess what, nothing comes easy to a second, third, fourth time mother, because having multiple children is NOT like having multiple dogs, having 4 is not the same as having 1. Just call me myth buster. One child is enough to knock you flat on your ass. Your body, your self image, your marriage and you relationship with every single friend will change. Sometimes for the better but sometimes there are hurdles. Parenting is not easy and it shouldn't be portrayed as something that you just dismiss as something that is. Why should something so phenomenal, life changing and important be easy anyway? Just like living well takes hard work I believe that being happy as a parent takes even harder work. But don't forget that hard work pays off. When you see your baby smile for the first time, or when she walks over to you and plants a big wet kiss on your lips and you didn't have to ask for it (fyi keep the defibrillator nearby cause you may have heart failure). So, think back to my initial question, what does mom really want for Mother's Day? I know when it comes to my own mother, the only acceptable gift would be a mansion in Capri with servants, a fully staffed spa, live in gourmet cook, and a closet full of Dior. If I could afford that for my mom I would, because she literally deserves all of the above mentioned. Sadly I don't have plans to fly to Naples tomorrow, but I will give my mom the only thing I know to give and thats love and respect. I make a point to show my mom and hey, I even remind her that I there is nobody in this world I love more than her. Sometimes words work. Sometimes gifts fall flat cause all mom wants is a hug, time spent with her kids (and GRANDKIDS, those things are like crack), a laugh, or a cry, and to go to sleep at night knowing she raised a happy and balanced child.
Try it out, this Mother's Day give the gift of recognition, respect, and most of all love. Take that Hallmark!Happy Mother's day to all the moms whether you've been one for decades, just become one last week, or you're expecting/hoping/planning for a little one in the future. Thank you for everything you have sacrificed and provided for your babies and for society. I hope you get infinite hugs today and someone tells you that you look skinny in those jeans ;)
Much love.
