Soph has sailed really through her HSC. Her mood has been mostly stable, apart from one weekend melt-down. She studied (mostly), kept an even keel on her boat and got through.
One day after the exams are over all the triggers suddenly start hitting. The biggest trigger on her mood and the tense outburst from her are all to do with the coming Yr 12 formal. It’s like the HSC was able to block and ‘keep her safe’ from all the other things.
Interesting isn’t it, what sets a trigger and what doesn’t. When the exams you would think are the biggest thing, are eclipsed by a social event. It not about marks, future, uni or career. It’s about friends, socialising, hair, dress, and surviving a social event and her dad will be there too. The Year 12 formal has become an event not disimiliar to a wedding in its planning and anxieties of ‘getting it right’.
Once the formal is over, then she will get anxious about results and uni acceptances. It’s not ostrich behavior but more a full focus behavior. Each coming ‘event’ has claimed her full focus, so that when it is over she is confronted by a whole new situation and panics. It’s like each situation is in isolation to anything else and she is running up and down huge mountains rather than learning to ‘flatten’ her environment.
Most of us tend to spread our focus around. Giving a bit of attention to all coming events, setting bits and pieces in motion towards each of them. Then when one event is over, the next can be faced with some planning in place. It is not a ‘surprise’ or ‘help’ situation. For Sophie, this is obviously part of her personality, all or nothing approach, being unable to plan ahead or to smooth her future path.
At the moment, home is punctured by her terse, anxious outbursts with bouncy puppy moments in between. Her brother is having panic moments mid afternoon, alternating between half smiles and looking tortured. Thinking of becoming an ostrich myself.
Oh and today is family group therapy day. Yay! (sob)
