This past weekend was pretty uneventful for me but sometimes uneventful is good. I didn’t go shopping, out to dinner, or anything fun. This weekend I took the time to do some reflection and I also spent a great deal of time catching up on reading other blogs and different magazines that I hadn’t had a chance to read. I read an article about people using other people for financial gain and found it interesting. The one thing that pisses me off is this common misconception that us plus size, thick, and curvy women are so desperate for companionship that we’ll literally pay for your services. When I say pay for your services, I mean that we’ll continuously buy you gifts and pay for dates etc. This not only goes for us voluptuous women but for anyone in the dating arena.
I learned about this stereotype years ago when I went out with this one crazy guy who called himself Prince, I really should’ve known better. The next day he called and asked me to pick up some not so cheap items from the mall for him. Needless to say, after I called him a few mother******s he got the idea and never called again. For some reason it didn’t stop there, I have encounter numerous people who felt like they could actually get away with trying to swindle or bamboozle my ass. I guess they didn’t realize I was smart enough to know better and that I’m simply not that desperate. I’ve even had someone tell me “if you can’t help me out what purpose are you serving in my life?” My response, “you’re exactly right” and I hung up the phone. The mind fu*ks people try to run on you is amazing! So I developed a keen sense of knowing when people intentions are not honorable and basically they’re looking for a free ride. I also developed some pet peeves that irk me when I date someone:
Don’t ask me about my income!
Don’t ask me about my monthly expenses!
Don’t ask me to pay for shit!
Don’t ask me to buy you shit!
Don’t ask me about money period!
It’s not their business at this point! I’ve always been a tit for tat type of person. If I see you’re doing sweet things for me I will do it in return, but don’t take me out for a Big Mac and then expect me to take you to Ruth Chris Steak house, we’ll visit White Castles get a sack and call it a day! People will do the bare minimal it takes to make you believe they have good intentions. If your gut is telling you someone is using you for financial gain, that’s basically all you need. You’ll see all the signs, how many dates have you paid for? How many times have you lent them money and he/she didn’t pay it back? How many times have you shopped together and they were short or they just assumed you were paying? How many times did they want to use your car or wanted you to chauffeur them around? Do they call you only when they want something and then hint around about how they don’t have any money? What have they done for you? You need to ask yourself, has this person become a possible dependent on my income taxes? Janet Jackson said it best, what have you done for me lately?
Sound off, Have you ever felt used by someone you were dating?
