The other day I came across the following question…
What does it mean to be a woman?
It was in a book about hormones unsurprisingly. But it caught me off guard.
The crazy thing is, this woman with all the thoughts…went blank.
Every answer that flicked through my mind was so superficial. Lipstick, heels, frills, coffee with trim milk. Nearly always trim milk.
But what about all the rest? I have jotted a list of what being a woman means to me. Some are surface, some are deeper. Some things may resonate with you, some things won’t. And that is how it should be. We all express or identify with all aspects of femininity differently. But have a think about what it means to you. As you grapple with societal ideas, it may be harder to articulate than you think.
Being a woman means desperately wanting to match briefs to bra every day. It's French, it's sexy, but it just never seems to work out.
It means the small details matter. Like when he goes to walk away, but turns back to take one last look and smile. It matters.
Being a woman means guilt. Always guilt. Guilt when we don’t follow our dreams, guilt when we do. Guilt for a day off, a sleep in, a day-long train crash of PMS. Guilt for having a career, and leaving kids at home…even when we don’t have kids yet.
Being a woman means having days when we love our body. And days when we torture it with excess caffeine, diets and quiet stress.
Being a woman means the thrill of a lace cotton gypsy top that whispers freedom. It means the air is filled with the sweetness of rose, or lavender, or lemon balm, but sometimes fake-tan. It means lining the almond curve of our eye in black pencil and admiring the pop.
It means wanting hair like a mermaid.
Being a woman means feeling unwanted and shedding unruly tears of abandonment from time to time.
It means excitement when his name flashes up on the screen, and panic when he is tagged in the cosy embrace of that mystery brunette.
Being a woman means having days when we feel ‘not quite right’ and others when we feel as though we might just burst with happiness.
It means being born to create. Not just life, but art and literary magnificence. However, being a woman means this greatness will be less-recognised than that of a man with equal talent…for now.
Being a woman means struggling with femininity and how to express it. It means learning not to squash the dolly-bird inside us. It means realising that being a girly girl does not equal weakness or a lack of intelligence.
Being a woman means worry. So much fruitless worry. So many playing scenarios in our mind and planning for events that may not even eventuate. It means letting wine/macaroons/kettle chips be an occasional shoulder to cry on.
Being a woman means being understanding. Even to those who may not deserve it. But that is ok, we are built this way. There is power in this knowledge.
Being a woman means safety in numbers, but sanity in solitude.
It means fluctuating between pure gratitude and the desperate admiration of those with the really green looking grass.
It means holding in tears, sometimes so hard it gives us a headache. It means having real feelings. Signals from our body, warning us of dangerous thoughts. It means learning to watch and listen to these signals and acknowledge their presence, or we get sick.
Being a woman means falling down, getting up, banging our head against a wall, especially the walls we create for ourselves. But it also means dancing ferociously around the lounge in denim cut-offs with a champagne flute full of vodka soda, a trusted friend and a beloved Beatles anthem.
It's a gorgeous mess.
Much love X
