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What a Stepmom Shouldn’t Say by Dating Dad

By Momishblog @momishblog

What a Stepmom Shouldn't Say by Dating Dad, Brian Gallagher
I recently was surprised (and a little shocked) to hear a complaint from a newly married Momish about raising the daughter she and her husband have two days a week.  Her complaint came out of frustration over a school delay and the challenge that comes with finding childcare.  Let me explain why I wasn’t sympathetic. 
I know things like school delays aren’t part of a Momish’s normal routine (especially if the Momish doesn’t have children of her own).  They’re not part of the normal routine for any parent.  So when my Momish friend says, “You just don’t understand how hard it is for me to deal with my daughter.  If school is delayed it is so hard for me to find a sitter since I only have her for two days a week,” I have no empathy.  
Please don’t take this attitude about your stepchildren. I, like the majority of parents and grandparents out there, are managing this every day too.  We spend the majority of our time coordinating their schedules against ours, ensuring homework is done, making sure they’re properly fed, teaching the life lessons they’ll need, and trying to make sure that every day they realize they’re loved.  Doing this two days a week and complaining about it only insults those of us who are doing it all of the time, not to mention your partner who has been managing this without your help for quite some time.
If you foresee this as a monumental struggle (which it isn’t) to being a Momish than do your Dating Dad a favor and say “No” when he proposes.  Prepare yourself for all of the unexpected challenges and realize that not every day is going to be perfect.  This is part of being responsible for this young life you’ve been entrusted with.  Don’t complain or expect sympathy from a single parent, grandparent, or even coupled parents.  It’s insulting and insensitive to each of them and to the work they do every day without complaint for the love of their children.  There’s no empathy because your situation is not similar to ours.  We’ve chosen, or had it thrust up on, to live up to our duties to raise these kids and we don’t get a break during the week. 
Be a great momish.  Love the opportunity and relish in the ups and downs that come along with your newfound kids.  When you hit a rough patch, realize that you are fortunate enough to rise up to the challenge.  Be a champion to your family and swallow your gut reaction to look for praise and empathy.  Dating Dads notice and appreciate the quiet strength that you show and will respect you more than you know. 

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