Weight Loss Interview Series : Carol Helms

This is the first in an ongoing series of weight loss interviews.  Every person was given the same set of questions and they did not need to answer some  of them if they didn't want to.  The first person to be featured is Carol Helms. I've known Carol for at least twenty five years. Makes me feel old. I went to school with her children, her daughter and I had mutual friends too. Carol also knows my Mom. When  I received Carol's I was very pleased. Most of the people who have answered the questions have given short answers. Carol also answered the questions as requested. She also went above and beyond and wrote a blog post worthy answer . Here it is as written by her:

Name:   Carol (Hickok) (Kalvaitis) Helms
I know you because you went to school with my kids and I know your mom. 
Favorite tv show: NCIS (I’m gaga over Mark Harmon), my musical taste is very eclectic …I am a child of the 60’s l like the moldy oldies, but a lot of newer things too.  In general, I would rather read than watch movies.  It is very rare that they have made a movie out of a really good book and not messed it up horribly.
I live in Austin, Texas, married to my best friend.
My hometown is Ballston Spa, NY, but going to Plattsburgh, NY for college, I wound up staying in the area for 31 years.
My weight loss history— I’ve always been fat, in my mind.  In high school I was about 20 lbs over weight, but I might as well of weighed 400 lbs the way I felt about myself.  I was also an honor student.  I graduated 8^th in a class of 142, but I felt stupid and inferior, because there were others smarter than me and I wasn’t perfect.  Yesterday I caught a few minutes of Dr. Oz’s show with Rosie O’Donnell as a guest.  She said, “I’m smart.  I know what to do…but I’m screwed up.” Dr. Oz said, “Welcome to humanity.”
After I got married and had kids, I gained weight, like many.  That was the first time I got over 200 lbs.  I spent years playing the weight game.  I would lose 25 lbs and gain back 35.  Than lose 35 and gain back 50…….etc.  I tried everything including: Weight Watchers (multiple times), Diet workshop, Tops, the Blackburn Diet, Liquid protein diets, counting calories, carbs and anything else someone would suggest counting.  I am very knowledgeable about nutrition.  I also tried every idiot diet plan I found in magazines, etc.  I never once reached my goal and always gained back more than I lost.  I would both sabotage myself and my first husband would sabotage me.  He was always supportive when I started a new diet, but when I started looking good and getting positive feedback from others, he got jealous and would suddenly start bringing home all kinds of crap (pizza, donuts, etc) and deciding to take me out to dinner.  That would always happen when I had reached a plateau and was getting discouraged and I would cave.  Then my mindset would be:  “ I blew it.  I’m not perfect.  So it doesn’t matter what I do.”I also did a lot of overeating for two reasons:1-   As a passive-aggressive way to show my husband that he can’t control me2-   As a way of self-medicating my self into oblivion to control my depression.   It took 24 years to grow enough backbone to finally leave my husband.  By then I was in 3/X4 clothes.  I don’t give weight numbers out, but I think that gives a good idea.
In spite of my size, I was still in relatively good health.  Ok, I got short of breath grocery shopping and I hadn’t been to a grown-up movie in years.  (I would force my self to take my grandkids to the movies, where I wedged myself into the seat and was in total pain through the whole thing.  When the movie was over, I would pry myself off the seat and have to stand there holding on for a couple of minutes until I had enough circulation in my legs to be able to walk.  I would still have ridges on my hips, from the arm rests, when I got home.
Then came the day when my doctor informed me, after some routine blood work, that I had diabetes.  It turned out to be “pre-diabetes”, but it was enough to scare me.  I’ve worked in health care and have helped care for several people who were dying from complications of diabetes.  For the first time I got really serious about having to do something.
About that time, a co-worker had gastric by-pass surgery.  I thought that seemed a bit too drastic, but promised to keep and opened mind and research it.  I was working at Albany Medical Center at the time and they have a support group for people who have had the procedure and for those considering it.  It is actually mandatory for those considering it.  I started attending the weekly meetings, as well as reading books and researching on line and talking to several people who had had the surgery.  I also starting working with a nutritionist (also mandatory prior to surgery) and dieting to lose at least 10% of my start weight so I would qualify to have the surgery. 
On March 23, 2003, I had roux-n-Y gastric by-pass surgery.    (Along with leaving my ex.)  I felt great.   I was steadily losing weight and more importantly,  gaining self-confidence and self- worth.   On June 23, 2003, I had my routine annual mammogram.  At the time, I worked in the radiology dept of Albany Med, and was in the habit of pulling up my own reports and printing them to have my own records.  I came into work the next morning, pulled up my report expecting the usual “routine screening exam, no significant changes.  Recommend continue with annual exams”  Instead, I read, “ 3mm lesion highly suspicious for malignancy.  Recommend biopsy.” ….and I thought that the diabetes thing had grabbed my attention!
For the next several months I dealt with breast cancer treatment, while continuing to lose weight.  By the time I finished with the cancer treatment, I was down to a size 16 (except for the fact that my left boob was a G cup due to radiation edema--temporary).  I had lost a total of 175 lbs.  I have since gained back about 20 lbs, but have maintained that for 8 years.  I am between sizes 18 & 20.  After many years at 3X & 4X, I feel fabulous.  As important as the weight loss, is the change in my attitude and outlook.  I do not have to be perfect.  I feel strong, capable and confident.  I refuse to feel guilty about anything I eat.  I don’t believe in forbidden foods, but enjoying foods that are less healthy sparingly on occasion. 
In 2005 a dear friend, who I had known for 30 years came up north from Texas to attend a class reunion.  He stopped to visit while he was up there.  We had stayed in touch, but hadn’t seen each other in 17 years.  A year later….and amazing year later…..at the tender age of 57, I married my best friend and moved to Austin, TX.  Our lives have been busy and often crazy, but we do it together.  I know this sounds crazy in a weight loss history, and I’m not going to even try to explain how it came about, but every night, before we go to sleep, my husband and I sit on our bed with a carton of ice cream and two spoons.  We sit and talk and have a couple of spoonfuls of ice cream.  It has become one of the most important parts of our day.  I still weigh exactly what I weighed when we got married in July 2006.
I am now 62 and I am dealing with a decision of whether or not to have knee replacement surgery.  Year of being very obese didn’t help the osteoarthritis, but I believe my weight loss has enabled me to postpone this for a lot longer than I would’ve been able to. 
Live goes on and I know I can handle whatever I need to.