For some women this is a no brainer, a non issue, they take their husband’s name or they don’t, and some even “compromise” and hyphenated. For me it’s not so simple.
Naively, I guess I never really considered it. For the last 30 years I have been Kassandra Perez, I have defined a person by this name, I have built a career under this name, people know me as Kassandra Perez. There are many things I am proud of, and not so proud of under this name, but its mine, I own it. This new name, if I were to take it, is someone I don’t know- who is she? what is she about? will people recognize me by that name? would it be more of a hindrance professionally? And how much should that matter?
I struggle with this a lot, mostly because it matters to me and even more so to my fiancé. He is extremely traditional-bless his heart but of course I am not. Part of me feels like taking his name would be a nice way to display my level of commitment to us as a family unit. He thinks hyphenation is silly, and would rather I just keep my name as it is if that were the only alternative. So when I consider his position, and the idea of children at some point down the line, I would like for us all to share the same name, feel like a unit.
But… Do I agree?
Yet, even with all these reasons I am still not fully convinced. I am unsure what exactly is holding me back, but I am very much stuck at an impasse. I have read countless articles and seen every different scenario. So my question is, how big of a deal should this really be? And what should matter most when making this decision?
xo- Kass
